Thursday, 18 October 2007


TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED - So I am moving on....!

OK so where do i begin...well anyone who has been reading my blogs for the last few months will be aware of the situation with my mum not approving of the man i intend to spend the rest of my life with. Reason being: He is NIGERIAN(and I am Ghanaian) and also because he comes form a family with mixed religion( Christian and Muslim).

Mr and i have been seeing each other for almost 6yrs now and trust me it hasnt ben easy. As i have been doing my best and trying all things possible to put my mum in the picture for the last 4 years.. but she just keeps comming up with all these excuses and just wont send.

So a few months ago Mr and I had a heart to heart about the future of our relationship and decided that it was time for me to step up and tell my mum of our intention to take our relationship to the next level by getting engaged and then married once I graduate from University in June.
This was not an easy decision to make at all and trust me I was scared to break the news to my mum as I didnt how I would handle things if she went off on i spoke to a lot of my Uncles, Aaunties and Cousins for some advise on the best way to go about thing. All this time praying and fasting about it as i felt a bit lost and needed direction and the strength to break the news to my mum.
The plan was to get my cousin and Uncle to sit with me while i talked to mum but things did not go accordingly, so i decided to take matters into my own hads and speak to my mum one on one.
But trust me I was still kinda scared when the time came........thinking back now.. I dont really know why i was scared....i guess it was just because i finally had to stand up to my mum about my future with MR. As i have allowed them to dictate to me for soo long.
Lets just say that ...... I was not expecting her to jump for joy and finally accept and respect my decision. After saying all that i had intended to say to her about family introductions and all our other plans..all she said was that she was not ready to meet Mr's family.
I thought ...Well at least she did not say oner her dead body and stress the fact that she wont attend our wedding if we intend to take things thats a change.

I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulder after speaking to her although she still does not approve.......Mr and I are now making arrangements for the necesaary prcedures to follow... but in the time being, my Uncles and Aunties are still on my side and trying to gradually get my mum tochange her mind.
All of this is just not fair on me... I have dedicated over 25yrs of my life to family and they still want to have me attending to thier needs forever... NO WAY.
I just dont get it. I am the only one that my mum and sibblings call on when they need help but no one is e ver there for me. They never give a damn about anything my needs but are always tryingh to tell mewhat to do when it comes to decisions in my life that caoncern my future. that cant be right.
I know that families are very important in our lives but what do u do when this same family never seem to want whats best for you and respect your decisions.
They never give u a pat on the back .. or say well done or Thank u for anything that i do.....they just keep trying to hold me back in everything that involves me moving on in my life.

Why!!!Why cant they just leave me alone!!


A lot of people have adviced me to go on and do what I feel is best for me and that my mum will come around in the her behaviour has nothing to do with MR but rather with the fact that she doesnt want to let me go/lose me.. but trust me its not easy!!

Words of Inspiration that have kept me going so far....

When the burden that you carry seems impossible to endure just look up to the Lord for your help from him is sure.
He knows just what you need, You're his child after all, Just call upon his precious name He will never let you fall.
And through it all continue to praise, Knowing that you'll be set free, seek his face, He's always be there, Have faith and you'll see

Looking back at my life so far.. i have really been blessed in so many ways and accept that I need to count my blessings and be Thankful to the Almighty and commit all my worries unto him so my concluding phrase for this blog will be :


Monday, 15 October 2007


Black History Month has been celebrated in the UK ever October for over 30years. It was set up to commemorate and celebrate the achievements of the black community and to also uncover the hidden history about our communities -BHM Website.
I am very passionate about my culture and heritage and always defend it to the best of my ability. This is not very easy when you live in a society where people take you for granted and belittle you just because of the colour of your skin, where the only ideas that your friends and colleagues have of your so called country of birth is what they see in Oxfam Adverts and on CNN,where people think that all Africans live in huts and that Africa is country and not a continent!

Most of us have left our countries of birth in search of greener pastures but let us not forget who we are and where we come proud of who u are and where u from and no one can ever take that away from you.
I came across this poem by Wayne Visser( a South African Poet) during my first year when I was carrying out some research for my Media Studies assignment. Just thought i share it with u.

I am an African Not because I was born there But because my heart beats with Africa’s
I am an African Not because my skin is black But because my mind is engaged by Africa
I am an African Not because I live on its soil But because my soul is at home in Africa
When Africa weeps for her children My cheeks are stained with tears
When Africa honours her elders My head is bowed in respect
When Africa mourns for her victims My hands are joined in prayer
When Africa celebrates her triumphs My feet are alive with dancing

I am an African For her blue skies take my breath away And my hope for the future is bright
I am an African For her people greet me as family And teach me the meaning of community
I am an African For her wildness quenches my spirit And brings me closer to the source of life When the music of Africa beats in the wind My blood pulses to its rhythm And I become the essence of music
When the colours of Africa dazzle in the sun My senses drink in its rainbow And I become the palette of nature
When the stories of Africa echo round the fire My feet walk in its pathways And I become the footprints of history

I am an African Because she is the cradle of our birth And nurtures an ancient wisdom
I am an African Because she lives in the world’s shadow And bursts with a radiant luminosity
I am an African Because she is the land of tomorrow And I recognise that her gifts as sacred


Friday, 5 October 2007

Why men cheat !

Ok so i decided to help one of my friends with some resech as she writes for one womens magazine.....she was just looking up interesting topics for the copule of months ...s o i thpught what the heck let me just help a sister out....Trust me it was soo much fun....I came across a few articles and findings that will be sharing with I would like to hear what the guys and ladies out there think about this issue so here goes. i have edited some of it but but trust me the juicey bits are all intact....Enjoy!!

The findings and quotes in this article are all opinions expressed by iVillage members(Womens website).
Source/Credits: Abby Schwartz and Eileen Livers

Like it or not men cheat. They stare @other girls even when you are with them(looku looku) . They're obsessed with big butts and big boobs…
The married ones come home late from work with the excuse of having to work late or attending one meeting, then the poor wives find lipstick marks on their collars.
Research carried out by iVillage reveled that men do cheat and they definitely cheat more than their female counterpart.
In the original Kinsey Report, published more than 50 years ago, approximately 60 per cent of men, compared to 30 per cent of women, were unfaithful to their spouses before the age of 40. (Now that's not nice)Those numbers have remained much the same in subsequent studies over the years. So reading on…..I finally got to what I really wanted to know


1. SEX: Men just can't control their eyes, hands and ...'Women need a reason to have an affair, men just need a place' - go_getter'Men will cheat if given the opportunity. They are just like that! They can be happy in their relationship and life, but if the opportunity to cheat is there, they will do it! I really believe they can't help it.' - ldrake5477'I asked my boyfriend why men cheat.... He said, 'Men do it for sex'. He said that a man can have sex with another woman and not feel anything for her' - pismotam

2. QUICK FIX: Although sneaking around takes a lot of effort, many iVillagers believe that more effort is required to salvage a rocky relationship.'People have affairs because they are lazy. It is easier to go running off with the office tramp than it is to admit something is wrong with your relationship and make a commitment to work on it' - jesusfreak1'I think if people took half the time and effort they put into sneaking around and channelled that energy into making a great marriage or relationship, they would realise that, most of the time, what they are looking for has always been with them.' - who_dat'Sometimes the thought of divorcing and changing everyone's lives is much too hard to handle. So the easier choice is an affair. I don't think it's the right choice, but most people will take the easier road, thinking no one will be hurt because they are keeping the marriage and family intact. - lovestargazer

3. THE FRAGILE MALE EGO: We all like to be complimented by the opposite sex and, according to many iVillage women, that's the ground for most men's affairs.'My now ex-husband not only cheated on me but on every former lover, girlfriend and wife (one before me) with whom he was involved. It was an emotional thing. He had to prove to himself that he was attractive and appreciated by women. It was his way of judging himself and his own self worth. - laughingagain 'I think unfaithfulness goes hand in hand with low self-worth. Cheaters seek approval or fulfilment in the eyes of another person when they should be looking within themselves.' - weasy71 'I think it has a lot more to do with how the cheater fells about his/her self, rather than how the cheater feels about his/her spouse.' - lee_823

4. TO FILL A VOID: Many iVillagers concluded that men cheat because they are not satisfied with their relationships. When something is missing, be it regular sex or healthy communication, men try to fill this gap with an affair. 'Just like women, men cheat when there is something lacking in a relationship. The wife may not even see what's missing. Maybe the man wants kinkier sex and is afraid to ask, or has already been turned down. Maybe he's cheating with another woman who doesn't nag him.' - barrysgal 'My husband and I had problems, and he tried to solve them with someone else. It didn't solve them - it just made them worse.' - djb61 'I guess, in a nutshell, the reason why a spouse cheats is because he/she feels alone.' - olivepop

5. SELFISHNESS: Whether they're immature, greedy or just haven't got a clue, some men don't value or respect their partners, say iVillagers. 'Sometimes people cheat in a marriage because they are not mature enough to understand and live by their vows.' - meanmommy 'Cheating is one of the most selfish acts a person can commit, because despite the fact that they entered into a relationship with another person they choose to act as though they are the only one whose feelings, needs and desires matter.' - nura_p 'Somehow we've become so convinced about what we're entitled to that we have completely lost sight of what we are responsible for. It doesn't matter who gets hurt, as long as we get what we want.' - juliewho 'I believe some people are so needy they devour their partner's love and move on.' - aZVDB