Wednesday, 4 March 2009

Ups & Ups ........

I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:4)

I am back.................................................................!!!
Its been 10 months and a few day since my last confession ...ooops sorry ....Since my last post. Damn has it really been that long...crickey!!
I tried updating my blog in November but just couldn't bring myself to put anything up because i was very overwhelmed with plans and the usual issues at that time....but Thank God its all over now!!
Gods been kind and merciful to me in my moments of distress and has brought me through that storm safely. For that I am very grateful to HIM!!

My dearest
THIRTY + , Writefreak , Olamild , Naapali , Zena , SOLOMONSYDELLE ,guerreiranigeriana , Sha, Afrobabe , UndaCovaSista , I am soo sorry for the long silence and promise to make it up to all of you.

Words can not describe the love and gratitude that I have for my blog ville family, your kind words of support and encouragement also gave me hope and saw me through my time of need.
May God Almighty abundantly reward you all. I am getting teary eyed....!
The last 10 months have been filled with ups and downs and have been the most difficult 10 months of my life as I had to make decisions and actions that will go a long way to determining the sort of life that i live.

Enuff mumbo jumbo...... for those of you who are lost.....(refer to my previous posts)...Yes so where was I.....oh yes i was about to drop gist!!

Mr finally proposed can you believe it... the dude took his sweet time.....but he couldn't have picked a better time and place.
Remember how i use to moan about him not popping the question?! In fact it got to a point where i started wondering if he was just stringing me along; as we had decided in Jan 2008 that we were going to be getting married that year with or without my mum.......

Things started taking shape after my graduation, as i had no more assignments and bits to worry about. We decided in June that December will be the best time for the wedding as most of our friends and family tend to travel home - Ghana and Nigeria for Christmas and decided that the wedding will take place in Ghana (dont go making faces...where else was the wedding supposed to take place...Abi Mr's people have to come and 'beg' for date was later confirmed and planning went into full of venue, fittings, picking and sending invitation cards etc.
All this while i kept telling myself that Mr was going yo be popping the question anytime soon. Even my friends were more anxious than i ...they always kept asking questions like So Mr...any plans for this weekend where are you taking our dumb !! Were they actually expecting him to say ohhhh I'm thinking of taking Arewa propose to her. All this time I was actually snooping around for receipts and clues but found nada!!!
So i decided to forget about him popping the question although it was sometimes embarrassing as people start looking at your finger the minute you mention that you are planning your wedding...especially when it is less than 6 months away!! Oh Lord... this dude showed me proper.
We took a trip to Ghana shortly before the wedding to see my family as my mum still wasn't interested in our plans. the trip was a very successful one as i had 100% support and blessings from both my mum and my fathers family.

It had been a very long and stressful day at my uncles house- going to final prep for traditional wedding and all the other activities......All i wanted to do was get home shower and thing.....

Mr: Babe, do you know of any nice spots around here where we can have something to eat

Me: (Sounding very pissed off) I asked you if you were hungry and wanted us to get something to eat about 5 mins ago when we went past Osu (happening area witha lot of joints) and you said NO so what is this about getting food now.......!!!

Mr: (In a very calm voice) Dont stress now Shebi it is just food; I am sure we can get something nice to snack on or eat around here. Anyway...dont worry, my friends told me of this nice restaurant around Airport residential ... i think we should check it out

Me: Whatever........... food is food and your the fussy eater

Driver pulls up in front of a cool looking restaurant...about 10 mins later.....the place was nice and cosy but nothing more to mind me it was a nice place I was just feeling very grumpy and tired.....So sat down ordered a few things fro m the menu and started to eat.
Half way through his dinner.............

Mr: Babe... i just need to pop our to check on the driver back in a mo

Me: OK

He returns after 2 mins.....

Mr: Babes come with me I want to show you something


Mr: Yes he is fine....just want to show you something

Me:Ah ahhhhh!! What now!! (I am thinking...what the
&$**@ is going on...all i want to do is eat, go home shower and sleep)

He leads me through the car park and down to the side of the restaurant - which has a very lovely garden, with a mad made waterfall and a nice view of the area as the restaurant is situated on top of a hill.

Mr: I just wanted to show you the waterfall....
Me: What about it... it is not a real one anyway!! Are you sure you are mean you do not feel like we have had a stressful day.................dont get me wrong hon, this view is lovely but not tonight.............i feel really tired and dont want to be a kill joy .......but i am not feeling this..maybe another day....... ( I started to walk away..He garbs my hand)

Mr: (he gives me a hug) Babe I know its been a very stressful day but just calm down and try and relax....(he pulls away and puts something in my palm)
Me: (Still not feeling the vibe and looking pissed and stressed) What do you want me to...........


At this point Mr was down on one knee with tears in his eyes.....Giving me a speech about how he was sorry it had taken this long to do 'this' and how he has never doubted me and hopes he is doing the thing and wants nothing more than to see me happy and to make me his wife.... oh yeah and something a praying that God gives him the ability to be all that a husband should be and moreeeee......
Mr: My darling Arewa.......will you do me the honor of being my wife......?
Me: (By this time ... i didnt know whether to jump, sit, cry, scream......) Yes yes.. yes... i willll

it was only when he put the ring on my finger and I suddenly realised that i couldn't see the ring properly (to inspect that i realised that tears of joy had flooded my eyes.
Pheew.... its happening again!!! - TEARS of JOY.

**Mr and I got married a week before Christmas and everything went smoothly...we even had a traditional ceremony - Introduction.. knocking....etc.

Will you in sooon....dont worry it won't be long. Will update
Stay blessed people and enjoy the rest of your week....... x x xx


Wednesday, 7 May 2008

Mixed feelings

(Proverbs 16:3)

Yes update at last so no more comments asking me to update..sho gbo?!! My Yourba is in full mode!!!
Oh my dayssss.. i cant believe that its beeen exactly one month since my last post. No vex ooh theres just been so much going on and i will do my very best to update you guys. but i must say i have missed my blogville family plenty!!! I hope you guys are all doing ok and that i hope that family, children, partners, stalkers.....are all doing well by Gods grace.

April has always been a very difficult month for me since my dad passed away 6yrs ago and things just get to me as i am always reminded of his birthday on the 2nd of April and his deth in the 18 th of April every year. I tried to put up a blog in his memory but i just couldn't bring myself tod o it for some reason so i mourned in silence......I miss my dad so much with all the things that I am currently going through and wish he was here to comfort me and to also share all wonderful things that i have achieved and continue to achieve in my life. I wish he will be here to see his baby girl graduate in July and to get married in December by Gods grace. Damn I miss him soo much. May His soul continue to rest in perfect peace.

The main thing that kept me from updating was my dissertation and it is all done now. i handed it in 2 weeks ago and jut needed time to recover as i run out of vocabulary dont mind me.

So all i am almost 2 assignments and 1 exam in the next couple of weeks and yours truly will be graduating in July..........FINALLY!!!!

I know that the cheeky ones amongst una are itching for an update on my jogging and excercising...i have a confession to make.... its been 3 weeks since my last jog on Hampstead heath but i am actually looking forward to continuing my routine once i am done with my exams and my assignments by the end of the month. So you better watch this space!!!

Now about my situation with my mum. The woman is still not budging and is still refusing to give me her blessing to marry the love of my life. but i have managed t make a bit of progress back home as my Uncle(mum's older brother) is willing to stand in on my mums behalf as he doesnt seem to understand why my mum is being so strong headed. I am happy about this but stilll wish that she will see sense and just let me be.

I am actually planning on having a word with her about her attending my graduation as I do not want her to turn up and ruin my day by disrespecting MR a few well wishers from his family.

I am thinking of asking her to consider her invitation to my graduation as her last chance of being involved in my life as i will expect her to be at the wedding if she decides to attend my graduation as both events mean a lot to me and will do for the rest of my life.

The relationship with my mum is one that seems to be getting worse to the extent that i actually HATE her for trying to make me a failure and for the way that she has continued to disrespect and destroy me.

I prefer to walk away from all this now in order to keep the little bit of sanity, self respect and esteem that i have left.
What use is a mother who is unable to show her own child love and affection?
What use is a mother who picks work over her family and yet tries to tell her daughter what to do?
What good is a mother who lies about her own daughter just to cover up her faults?
Why cant they see what i see and just be happy for me?
My heart aches badly as I yearn for my mothers love and affection ............why must i be subjected to so much pain by my own mum.



I know some of you might be wondering what the hell is wrong with me and why I sound this way or why i just cant seem to get on with my life without bothering about my family(mum) but it trust me it isn't easy at all.... but i have to be positive and look to the Lord for a sense of direction and a source of strength because i feel drained.

Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

Monday, 7 April 2008


One Word: OUCH!!!
Where do i begin....I cant lift my arms too much..., my thighs are aching, my love handles feel like they are about to explode and my as for my abs don't even go there...they are killing me!!!
I bet you've guessed what I'm complaining about.....I have started my mission to keep fit whiles to loosing my love handles and my extra
My mission began last Thursday with a 30 min jog up Hampstead Heath.Oh my Gosh who the hell asked me to be soo adventurous... i had bee contemplating the jog for a few days and decided that I had to take the first step and at least do something so .. i got dressed in my tracksuit bottoms and jumper, hair tied into a sleek pony tail, ipod tacked between by 34f' and i was me crazy but i decided to go jogging just as it was getting dark as i was feel a bit self conscious...didn't want people looking at me and thinking...What the hell does she think she is doing?!

But there was none of that I managed to jog half way to the top of the heath (which is 30ft high and has a breath taking view) and walked the rest of the way. I did a few stretches at the top as my thighs were killing me and then jogged all the way from the top to the bottom .....I absolutely enjoyed it and just couldnt wipe the smirk off my face... I must say I was proud of myself for taking the first step.
So now i have decided 30 min jog up hampstead heath 3 times a week, Davina DVD and You tube videos for 3omins at least twice a week.
I am trying my best when it comes to food by having a 100% fruit smoothies, muslie bars for snacks and eating a lot more fruit and veg... oh and I only have carbs with my lunch ...none for dinner. I was advised by a friend to try and eat my vegetables raw rather than steamed or even fried and I must say that I am loving Sweet and yellow.. they are my favourite vegetables and i love eating them raw.....
So for those of you out there who said you were also looking for ways of keeping fit or losing some weight Afrobabe, Sha , Pink-satin Overwhelmed Naija Babe, .. there you go......i found these videos on you tube.. trust me they work wonders at working my muscles but they are hard work......I dare you to try them.......Let me know what you think...... - Love Handles 2 ( I like this one as it also works your abs if you hold your tummy in)

Dunno if you guys remember the post I love u but..I dont TRUST u!! about one of my friend who has a really insecure boyfriend? Well guess what the dude dumped her !! Can you believe it.
So here is what happened......the dude decided in January that things were not working out and asked that they both go their separate friend(Lets call her Esi) didn't really understand why he had suddenly made that decision as this same dude had discussed marriage with her a few months before and had even asked her to go and get the list for knocking(introduction amd engagement) from her dad.
A few days after this dude broke things off with Esi....she found out from a Friend that the guy had actually been seeing another girl for about 6 months and had gone to perform the introduction ceremony and to ask for the girls hand in marriage. The dude was engaged to the new girl just 3 weeks after breaking up with Esi and will be getting married in June.

Esi is still in a state of shock and just cant let this guy go as she claims that she still loves him....she keeps going to his house and calls him constantly but he doesn't take her calls and refuses to see her whenever she goes to his place. How do you get over a guy who promised you the world and then decides to take it all away from you after 9 years......
What do i say to her and how do i console her...she is an emotional wreck at the moment and i just feel so helpless.
I feel for her as i know what it feels like to be broken hearted......................................

Why do some men have to be so cruel and how does one stop him/herself from falling too deep in order not to feel this hurt when things go wrong?
Where and how does one start all over again......


Monday, 31 March 2008

Mission POSSIBLE !!

Where my people @.....Hope everything is cool with you all and that you have all started the week on a good note....Well mine hasn't been too bad....Had an appointment with my dissertation Supervisor today and he is very happy with my work so far all I have to do is keep a low profile and finish hard as it is due in about three weeks.

This post is one of my random ones so pardon me if i hop from one topic to the other.....

I went shopping with my one of my girlfriends over the weekend and came across a lovely bikini that i just could bring myself to try on ... you see the thing is that yours truly has been slaking in the fitness department for almost a year now causing me to loose my flat tummy and to gain a pair of very irritating love handles that have refused to disappear. The devil is a liar .... I have bought that bikini and I will fit perfectly into it for my next holiday/

My friend encouraged me to try it one... going on about how my bits are not as bad as i me too like mumu ... i tried it on and damn didnt it look good on....but those fatty bits just had to make themselves seen no matter ho hard i tried to conceal adjusting straps here and there.

So I have finally decided I NEED TO LOOSE A BIT OF WEIGHT!!! I decided to weight myself when i got home and i must confess it wasn't good at all. I have gone from weighting 11 stone to 13.5 stone in the last year.....That is not good!!
Mr claims that I look good but probably need to loose just a little bit .....and that just killed me because that was his way of saying Yeah i do think that you are a bit on the chubby side now!! FUMING!!!! He always has to try and be diplomatic about everything.
I am a bit frustrated with my weight although friends keep telling me that i look ok. But i don't see ok when i look in the see the thing is that I am 5'10 in height and have a figure that hides my weight and it also doesn't help that my big tata's, melon, tits....whatever you call them....already make me feel a bit funny about my body..(dont u go telling me 'big boobs are sexy and all that rubbish) YOU try carrying them around for a day.......

So I have decided to take up RUNNING and Skipping to get me started ... just something to keep fit and possibly shift the love handles and my extra tummy...... Joining the gym is out of the question for now as i had a not so nice experience about 6 months ago when I joined the gym in order to tone up a bit and to shift those bits and guess what....i got really pissed off cus i didnt seem to be toning up or losing any weight although i felt that i was building my stamina , in fact i actually gained a bit more weight over that time and decided to stop going to the gym altogether......
Anyway no shaking... its about time i get back into shape ... as I will have found my Wedding gown for December and will be starting my fittings in a few months and you know I also need to shape up for our Honeymoon period and the life of ever ready and everlasting sex (Morning, afternoon and evening)

Any ideas on ways in which i can shift my 'baby fat' ??? I am really crap at dieting cus i cant do without my agege bread, Eba, Kenkey, Rice , Rice Rice and More Rice oh yes and my pasta.

Lie lie... i will fit into that bikini and into my wedding gown without any wahala. i will be the stunning and blushing bride....I need to knock Mr OFF HIS FEET.....

Anyway.... yours truly is off to look for some running shoes on ebay...

Mission possible? Sure thing !!!!

Ps: This is not a ladies only post ooh so guys please feel free to comment.. i dont want to mention names...dont be silent bloggers ooh..

Tuesday, 25 March 2008

Next Level???!!

I just want to say a big THANK U to everyone who left comments on my last post...Omo you people are just Amazing. I thank God Almighty for your lives and pray that He will continue to bless you in all that you do...Amen!!!

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." - (1 John 4:18)
Ok so Mr has been my shoulder to lean on in the last few months not that he has never been there ooh but I have just been at an all time low and He has been there for me at all times and I am very grateful and Thanks God for bringing him into my life.

So we were having our usual chit chat over the weekend and found ourselves discussing marriage and what it means...or should I saw what we both understand it to and what we expect marriage to be about......yada yada yada....

I actually started off my expressing my feelings about how recent events and experiences in the marriages of close friends is beginning to kill my joy about getting married. there has been so much drama from domestic violence to husbands attempting to commit suicide just because love dont live in their house no more...., husbands attempting to run away with kids because wife is no longer interested in him due to his attitude towards her and the list goes on and on......(NO WORIES I WILL UPDATE WITH DETAILS LATER)
Why do things have to get so complicated and why cant people just sit down and talk and when this happens why cant they just come to a compromise especially when there are kids involved.
And when people say that they have forgiven and forgotten why the hell don't they just keep to their words.

I described marriage as moving on the next level but Mr objected saying that there is no such thing as the next level and claims that women tend to create this fantasy of what marriage life is all about , expecting unrealistic things to happen. And i totally object to that interpretation of the next level is looking forward to spending the rest of my life with the love of my life and starting a new life with him and the wonderful and kids and other blessings that Gods Almighty bestows on us. And of course i have expectations.....who doesn't.....I look forward to romantic get aways with my husband before the kids start pouring in....not to say that i expect that to stop once the babies start pouring in
But honestly.......I just think that some couples allow the hard times to overshadow the good ones.. i know it is easier said than done but there are people who have been through rough times but have remained married for yonks......
I have a couple of friends who have vowed never to get married just because they have been treated horribly in past relationships and just cant see themselves ever loving or trusting anyone ever again.
To those of you out there who are married... what is the secret to a successful marriage ?

To those who are in relationships and considering moving on to the next step....what are your expectations....., what are you looking forward to the most AND WHAT ARE YOU DREDING?

To those who have vowed not to get into serious relationships due to hurt and pain from past relationships..what will it take for you to let someone love you again......??

Oh and is there such a thing as the next level or is Mr just trying to kill my

Any advice.....Simi Speaks .. thats ur Q oohh oya advice us.... x x x x

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." - (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

Monday, 17 March 2008

Goingz Onzs 2

But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. - Isaiah 40:31

Hey guys... longest time....I know I have been MIA for a few weeks now. A lot of stuff has been going on.....
My dissertation is due at the end of April so you can just imagine..So so books and journals i dey read ... my head feeels like its about to explode. Almost done with my Lit review and my research so I will be starting my write up really soon..God help me!!
In the mean time.. my issues with my mum still continue.......I decided a few months ago(after my mums cold attitude towards Mr's familyNah real wah.....Back sliding ) to cut all communication with my mum, because she had disgraced me in front of my future in -laws and had also made a right ass of herself.

I know some of you might think that my decision is quiet harsh but I really do not care at this point. I mean how am I supposed to show my mum love and treat her right when she continues to treat me like shit as if i just dont exists. I must confess that my life has been a lot better with less stress since i took this decision.
I know i stated that i was feeling really depressed and felt that i was backsliding in my Nah real wah post, what i didnt mention was how bad my depression was...Mr had to beg me to rethink all the things that i was considering: such as throwing myself down the staircase, walking into oncoming traffic or even a drug overdose. I never thought that I would ever consider doing such extreme things to myself but i had just had enough of everything and constantly having to justify my choice in a life partner and apologising for my mums crude behaviour to soo may people. I was just soo fed up......I thank God for the little voice inside my head that always stopped me from doing anything silly and the power of love which made me consider the effects of my actions on my dearly beloved Mr, who has been my physical pillar of strength in all this. So i have gotten into the habit of taking long walks in order to have a good cry whenever i feel a bit down(and trust me it works). Why the hell should I take my life just because my mum is soo bent on making my life miserable? That should even motivate me to prove her what the hell am I doing by contemplating suicide.........DAMN I NEVER THOUGHT IT COULD GET THIS BAD.
I dont miss not being in touch with my mum or anything to do with her but then again what do i expect to miss as she was never there for me in as a mother should for a daughter. So how am I am suppose to miss something that was never there.......?

I hate to ask this but.. is it possible for a mother to be jealous of her own daughter ?
I went to see my priest a few weeks ago when I was feeling really depressed and he said a lot of things that made me think about my relationship wit my mum and the sentiments that keep me from moving on with my life.
I wont lie ooh.. My mum has caused me soo much pain by saying the most hurtful and demeaning things to me. She has made me feel like I am nothing and has reduced me to nothing...I still have issues with confidence and my self esteem but I am working on at it and doing all that I can with he help of my friends and loved ones.
I have taken time over the last couple of weeks to think about my mums reasons for not wanting to give me her blessing and for not approving of my choice of a lifetime partner and I really cant seem to understand what the big problem is.......She objects to my relationship for the following reasons:
  1. Because Mr is Nigerian and I am Ghanaian (asking what I will do if Mr. decides to run away with my Children to settle in Nigeria if things do not work out...yeah right and I am just a mum abi)

  2. Because He is Muslim and I am Christian (I dont know why she keeps going on about this..It was one of my major concerns when Mr and I decided to get really serious about our relationship, he and his family do not expect me to convert and are welcome me as a christian as they have already have a few mixed religious marriages in their family. Mr is aware of the fact that our children need to be raised as Catholic until they are old enough to decided on what they want to be , as this is one of the recommendations of the Catholic church in cases such as mine where the other partner is not of Catholic faith)

  3. Because his family are of mixed faith both Christians and Muslims (She just doesn't see how they are able to live in peace and sees it as some kind of taboo)

  4. she wants me to be independent.. have my own house, car ........before getting married(regardless of the fact that my body clock is ticking )What happened to including your life partner in your future plans in order to work towards your future together. My mum just things that I intend to become a useless housewife when i get married. Its like she has no faith in me and just thinks the worst of me...what the hell does she think I payed my own way through 3 yrs of University for?

  5. she believes that MR is only putting on an act and that he will stop loving me once we start having his kids (yeah right.. using me for 7yrs.. he must have all the time in the world....some other guy would have run a mile after realising how cruel and horrible my mum is)

  6. that he will definitely want to have 2 more wives because of his religion
And the list goes on and on.............I know my mum is just concerned about my future and wants whats best for me but she definately isnt going about it the right way ......the scary thing is that my mum gave similar excuses years ago when my older sister use to bring guys home...15yrs later, my sister is now 37 yrs old, lives miles away from London -just to be away from my mum and my evil ass kissing brother, suffers from very low self esteem and is constantly depressed due to the way her life has turned out, just because she failed to stand up to my mum when she should have ...and did i mention my sister is still not married!! I really feel for my sister and continue to do all that i can to help her but the harm has already been done. I do not wish to end up like my sister ...God forbid!!
On a more positive note, Mr and I have picked the date for our wedding, which will definately be in December this year......venue has been provisionally booked and all..but i am taking a break from all the weding planning for now.. just until i have handed in my dissertation (end of April) then it will be full steam ahead...!!
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.~ 1 Peter 5:7

Wednesday, 27 February 2008

This post is memory of Kaya, Patience & Danielle .............
I met Kaya in Sixth form, I wouldnt say that we were buddies but mates. Just hi's and hello's here and there and brief chats where necessary.
So you might be wondering why I have decided to put up a post in her memory.
I got a phone call from one of my friends last week Tuesday informing me about an accident on the M1 involving Kaya's car and a Royal mail van. News at that time was that it wasnt to clear if Kaya made it as things were still being investigated. I laughed it off and told my friend that people were probably just exaggerating......I said that because I just didnt want to believe what I had just being told and i was trying to be hopeful.
I picked up the London Paper on my way to work and found the story of the accident in the middle page....there had been 4 passengers in the car....2 died on the spot but Kaya and one other passenger had survived the accident just that Kaya was in a coma but was described as being a stable condition.

R.I.P Patience X X X X xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx R.I.P Danielle X X X

Everyone set out praying for Kayas recovery and being hopeful......pages sprung all over the internet asking for prayers and hope that Kaya will pull through.

I got a phone call at 2pm .....KAYA PASSED AWAY THIS MORNING!!!
I was in soo much shock and didnt even know whether to cry or scream.......Something died inside me.

Kaya was well known in the UK Urban entertainment industry as a young talented and beautiful model with so much to live for. She was just so full of life and just had something about her that made her like able.
But one thing that makes this a bit easy for me to come to terms with is the fact that she lived her life to the full doing what she loved....

Kaya's death has a given me a wake up call and has thought me that life is too short and that we need to make the best of every single day that God grants us because I would have never believed it if anyone had told me years ago that Kaya will die at the age of young and soo much to live for ....May GOD SPARE OUR LIVES.

3 lives lost from the same accident within the space of 2 weeks....My heart goes out to Kayas's family and those of the 2 other passangers : Danielle aka.D.Krystal & Patience. May your souls rest in the loving arms of our Almighty Father. x x x

RIP BABY GIRL....u will be missed x x x x