TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED - So I am moving on....!
OK so where do i begin...well anyone who has been reading my blogs for the last few months will be aware of the situation with my mum not approving of the man i intend to spend the rest of my life with. Reason being: He is NIGERIAN(and I am Ghanaian) and also because he comes form a family with mixed religion( Christian and Muslim).
Mr and i have been seeing each other for almost 6yrs now and trust me it hasnt ben easy. As i have been doing my best and trying all things possible to put my mum in the picture for the last 4 years.. but she just keeps comming up with all these excuses and just wont send.
So a few months ago Mr and I had a heart to heart about the future of our relationship and decided that it was time for me to step up and tell my mum of our intention to take our relationship to the next level by getting engaged and then married once I graduate from University in June.
This was not an easy decision to make at all and trust me I was scared to break the news to my mum as I didnt how I would handle things if she went off on one....so i spoke to a lot of my Uncles, Aaunties and Cousins for some advise on the best way to go about thing. All this time praying and fasting about it as i felt a bit lost and needed direction and the strength to break the news to my mum.
The plan was to get my cousin and Uncle to sit with me while i talked to mum but things did not go accordingly, so i decided to take matters into my own hads and speak to my mum one on one.
But trust me I was still kinda scared when the time came........thinking back now.. I dont really know why i was scared....i guess it was just because i finally had to stand up to my mum about my future with MR. As i have allowed them to dictate to me for soo long.
Lets just say that ...... I was not expecting her to jump for joy and finally accept and respect my decision. After saying all that i had intended to say to her about family introductions and all our other plans..all she said was that she was not ready to meet Mr's family.
I thought ...Well at least she did not say oner her dead body and stress the fact that she wont attend our wedding if we intend to take things furthur......so thats a change.
I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulder after speaking to her although she still does not approve.......Mr and I are now making arrangements for the necesaary prcedures to follow... but in the time being, my Uncles and Aunties are still on my side and trying to gradually get my mum tochange her mind.
All of this is just not fair on me... I have dedicated over 25yrs of my life to family and they still want to have me attending to thier needs forever... NO WAY.
I just dont get it. I am the only one that my mum and sibblings call on when they need help but no one is e ver there for me. They never give a damn about anything my needs but are always tryingh to tell mewhat to do when it comes to decisions in my life that caoncern my future. that cant be right.
I know that families are very important in our lives but what do u do when this same family never seem to want whats best for you and respect your decisions.
They never give u a pat on the back .. or say well done or Thank u for anything that i do.....they just keep trying to hold me back in everything that involves me moving on in my life.
Why!!!Why cant they just leave me alone!!
I THOUGHT FAMILIES ARE MEANT TO SUPPORT YOU IN WHATEVER U DO AND BE THERE FOR ONE ANOTHER......DAMN!
IM JUST SOOO FED UP!
A lot of people have adviced me to go on and do what I feel is best for me and that my mum will come around in the end..as her behaviour has nothing to do with MR but rather with the fact that she doesnt want to let me go/lose me.. but trust me its not easy!!
Words of Inspiration that have kept me going so far....
When the burden that you carry seems impossible to endure just look up to the Lord for your help from him is sure.
He knows just what you need, You're his child after all, Just call upon his precious name He will never let you fall.
And through it all continue to praise, Knowing that you'll be set free, seek his face, He's always be there, Have faith and you'll see
He knows just what you need, You're his child after all, Just call upon his precious name He will never let you fall.
And through it all continue to praise, Knowing that you'll be set free, seek his face, He's always be there, Have faith and you'll see
Looking back at my life so far.. i have really been blessed in so many ways and accept that I need to count my blessings and be Thankful to the Almighty and commit all my worries unto him so my concluding phrase for this blog will be :
I AM TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED!!
35 comments:
Our families give us the best of times and the worst of times, because noone else can touch us like they can. I pray you find the strength to forgive and love them, and to be healed from the pain that you've felt because of them, and that you are able to pursue all your dreams.
All the best!
Absolutely Everything will be fine,
You've told her now, at least that's step one. She'll come around, You have HIM behind you, he sees your heart, you've asked and you shall receive.
And as for family love, I think Acainto pretty much said it all.
The Lord be your strength love
you will be fine. ypu have done the first step which is to talk bout it
This is a big step. Good for you for standing up for yourself and your own happiness!
I perfectly understand your position. My missus is Sri Lankan (Tamil, to be precise) and is Hindu. I be Christain Niaja boy. My Dad finally just accepted her, but her parents are in denial. Trust me, it will work out eventually. Be strong, because there will be many going out of their way to make sure it all goes pear-shaped for you guys.
http://aworan.wordpress.com
Babygirl like you said you are too blessed to be stressed. lol!!
Get on with your life. As the bible says leave your mama and cling to your man. If you are sure he is the right one for you dont let anyone make you doubt yourself, him or what you feel for each other. Looking forward to your wedding website and bridezilla blog series. lol!!
Arewa, your life is yours to live and yours only. Families, parents included often have selfish reasons to impose on the life of others. This is more so when that person is a valuable provider. This may come from a fear of loss. In your case perhaps they fear they will lose all that you do for them. I suggest a two pronged approach, one that seeks to make them open up about their underlying fears and worries, the other prong is your gentle but firm insistence to live your life as you have chosen.
I wish you well sister.
Hang in there, sweets. It shall come to pass. Personally, i don't believe parents should have 100% say in whoever their kids marry. Yes, they shuld advise and stuffs but when it comes down to telling me NOT to marry someone or something like that, It's a NO NO!!
Guess that's why i'm still single at 24. SHould have married at 18 if i followed their 'wishes'
Congrats on taking the first step.
i dont envy u. but lik evry one sayd u have passed the first hurdle.keep on praying, and hopefully all would work out.your mum loves you just keep that in mind.
I wish you well, hun. Yes, it is your life to live, and I agree with Naapali about the two prong approach. You are in my prayers.
*hugs*
I finally visited..thanks for putting me on your links list.
Hmmm..i see what you have to contend with but trust God things will be fine, i had some majro challenges the year before hubby and i got married which was after we had dated for years, they were family related and we could have given up on our relationship but here we are!
Just keep following yuor heart dear, your mum will come round eventually i hope, things will work out. Much love sis...see you again!
Sweetie stay strong, don't let it get to you. Always remember God is in control. He has brought you & your Mr this far. Mum will come round & everything will be fine. We'll keep praying.
Whats your wedding webbie?? Lol. Much luv!
dang girl...that's a lot of stress on you :-/
you are so strong for being able to stand up to your mom. sounds like she's coming around...
good luck!
i know exactly wht u going thru...same here,with us its more than just one differences,but we love eachother too dearly to see ourselves with someone else,we plan on going thru anything nd are damn ready!!!wish u all the best!!
meanwhile wan invite u to ma blog so send me ur email pls on fatimsani@yahoo.co.uk
-.-
awww dearie...Take heart cos every thing will fall into place...the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step and you have taken the first step and remember that darkest hour comes before dawn...It is well with you...Families can be such a pain in the rear but don't we all love them! May God take control and set all that concerns you aright!
hmmmmmm touchy
I feel for oyu
and i know what it feels like to be in that position
Now that I've been there
but I am being told "he has to be nigerian"
That's not my prob
If he's jamaican and I'm ready to settle... that's it.
Just be prayerful
You are woman enough to make decisions on your own
This is whm your heart desires
and it's beat to follow your heart
Pray to God to soften mummy's heart
It'll all be FINE
GOOD LUCK
AMEN TO THAT, I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU.
GOD WILL DEFINITELY TOUCH YOUR MUM'S HEART
nice read...good to know i am not the only dealing with this...and even as i complain about it, i am aware that i am doing the very thing to one of my sisters...damn...life, family and love are somehting...i send you love, positivity, vision, clarity, strength and peace...and many, many more blessings...
Don't worry girl!!! U r truly toooo blessed to be stressed. Sometimes family tend do ova do tins but to dem de r helping. Congrats on standing up.
No fretting girl
it is well with you
HE has blessed you with a man and HE will see to it that it comes to pass..
like you said...U R 2 BLESSED 2 B STRESSED
Awww poor baby, that's the right attitude, don't stress and everyone is right, she'll come around, at least she didn't break out in hives when you told her your plans...lol. She just wants what she thinks is best for you so try and see it her way too. Take care.
a journey of a thousandmiles begines with one step, at leats now uve told her and she hasnt put a gun to ur head yet so thats def a good sign!!! things will be fine dont worry!!
Make decisions that when you look back you'll be proud of yourself regardless of the outcome. Your life is yours.
God Peace *wink*
You have to face some harsh realities, I'm afraid. I feel it is less about your intended and more about family control. As a nigerian, I was married to a nigerian and it did not work out, so there's no guarantee of happiness if you go Ghanaian.
If your mum cannot be happy when YOU are happy, too bad.
that's the spirit girl! i'm happy for u. good thing too that u summoned up the courage.
so do i get to be a bridesmaid? lol.
HEREEEE
Babe, what do you want? Please do what you want.
Although we need our families blessings for stuff like this, it's unreasonable not to like your fiance cos he's Nigerian.
Personally, i see no difference between Nigeria and Ghana. I have loads of friends and family that are married to Ghanaians. For me, Ghana is the only African country that blends most with Nigeria.
Well babe, it's your life so be happy.
Good luck and stay blessed.
Hugs
xxx
oh wow i didnt realize until this post that you were ghanian... nice. i'm glad you were able to work up the courage to talk to her about it.. sweetie if hes the man for you and brings you happiness..eventually ur mom should come around.. be happy my darling... above and beyond anything else... be happy. Goodluck babe
Congrats girl
Is blogger playing a joke on me or what???
I thot i commented on this post before and now i cant see my comment.
Now i don answer latecomer :(.
arewa darling, you have done your part by breaking the news, its now left for God and he definitely will see you and your man through.
Hey, girl! This is a bit late, but i hope there have been positive developments since you posted this. Just know that not only are you blessed, you're also highly favoured and therefore you have favour with men and that includes your Mum. She will come round in the end. This too shall pass...
awwww i hope everything ends up well
we are rooting for u missy
hehe (a Nigerian reader lol)
Do what i did, get married and then phone them and tell them you are married.
Okay dont do that.
Just pray and i trust God will make sure that you both are fine.
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