Monday, 24 December 2007

JESUS is the reason for the season....

The plan was to wait till after the holidays before updating but I got an email about the history of Christmas and thought it was I have decided to share it my blogville family just to emphasise one of the points that i made in my last blog Christmas is dead...!!! about the main reason why we celebrate Christmas as it has become a lot more commercialised therefore losing its true meaning.
As Christmas is here and the New Year hangs around the corner, lets use it as an opportunity to reflect and Thank God for His Goodness and Mercys . He has afforded us the opportunity to see another Christmas and by His grace, another Year.

The ancient Christians decided to bring the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ around the same time the pagans were celebrating their week long festivities in honour of their sun god. This was done so that Christians would not be attracted to the things of the world and how the unbelievers celebrate their gods.
We serve the living God so let's not forget that in celebrating this yuletide we're only saying: ''JESUS THANK YOU FOR KEEPING US SAFE AND SOUND THROUGHOUT THE YEAR AND DYING TO SAVE US FROM OUR SINS''. Who said it's easy? But we can all be Holy if only we try. Being Holy as a Christian is in the little things; like KEEPING YOUR WORD! HUSBANDS AND WIVES REMAINING FAITHFUL TO EACH OTHER; KEEPING YOUR INTEGRITY NO MATTER THE SITUATION; BEING HONEST IN YOUR DEALINGS; ETC. ETC.

As you rush for your gifts and trees and decorations. Let it remind you to make the same preparations in your life BECAUSE JESUS IS COMING AGAIN. ASK YOURSELF, IS YOUR LIFE PRESENTABLE ENOUGH TO IMPRESS HIM LIKE YOU'VE DECORATED YOUR HOUSE TO IMPRESS YOUR GUESTS?

Tuesday, 18 December 2007

Christmas is dead...!!!

Is it just me or is Christmas just not the same....I mean i cant even remember the last time that i celebrated Christmas. All I remember are my childhood days back home (Ghana) when my I looked forward to comming home from Church on Christmas day to help my mum make Lunch, which consisted of A Special pot of Jollof Rice, Fried Rice, grilled Chicken/fsh, Kelewele, Potato chips, a variety of Salads and after feasting aon all that, we had fan ice cream with my aunties special Christmas cake.....Awww the good old days.
I attended our work christmas do yesterday and I can you believe that it was there for only was just soo dry and I guess it was also because omost of my team members have already travelled abroad for the holidays.Wwhats going on?Is it just me or is Christmas really dead as my friend described it.
I feel that Christmas loses it hype as we grow older and older and what kills it even quicker is if your not fortunate enough to go back home for the holidays. Christmas in has become soo comercialised that it has lost its true meaning. It seems to be all about sending loads of money buying presents which people end up not using anyway......
What even kills it for me is that is that MR. and I are spending christmas apart this year as he is off to Lagos as I write and I am stuck here in this stupid cold ass country because I have a lot of revision to do for my exams in January and I also have my dissertation to work on. So I am on my Jack jones this Christmas and ooh dont even think about me spending time with my family cus I dunno haow to play happy families with people who dont give a toss about you. I beggg ooohh I will just burry my head in my books and haung out with the girls if I get bored.
But honestly is it just me and is it fair to say that Christmas is DEAD or rather that I my Christmas spirit is DEAD?!!
I'm so going to miss my man any suggestions of things that I can do to survive holidays without my Sweetie : (

Im ssoo homesick here a few of the things that I miss the most :

1) Hot & Sunny Weather

2)The Beach (Sand, Sea breeze, Palm Trees...)

3) My favourite Ice Cream

4)Home made Kenkey

5) Boufrot(Puff - Puff)

Anyway ...What are you guys up to for the holidays.....?! Im off for a refill of my Tia Maria and Coke.......IM SOOO BORED !!!
In the mean time......Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas People..................xx x x

Monday, 10 December 2007

Goingz onssssss........

Damn.......I didn't realise I had been gone for that long....then again it hasn't been that long...just a few weeks and I am already being harassed by the Blogville update squad Nyemoni, Olamild, Queen of My Castle...oh and not forgetting the ever cheeky princesa na wah for u this chic oohhh going on about ''I was first, i hope to be last.Oya update!!!'' Ah ah!!

I have just had soo many things to do mhen..busy busy busy!! honestly.. the life of a student (and a young woman who is just trying to live her life jejely). Thank God I am almost at the end of that road...Graduation is a few months away but lets just say yours truely still has a lot to do. I've still got my exams coming up in January, which sucks cus it means no proper Christmas celebrations for dissertation is due a few months afterand then the final batch of Exams in June and then I WILL BE FREEEEEEEEE ...!! Its been a long time coming... anyone who is considering taking a year out of thier studies (especially to work) do not do it ooohhhhh. See where it got me... I got carried away with working and earning money and totally lost track of the years ......10 yrs I am trying to graduate at the age of (JOKE GOTCHA!!)........I didn't take that much time off and I am not 50 yet even though it feels like

I have also been trying to plan my future as I want to start the year 2008 off on a positive note and on an all time high as I feel that God has a lot of things in store for me.....I have never been one to make plans or resolutions for the new year but I feel I need to as that is the only way froward for me, in terms of my future with MR: Getting married, starting our own family and living MY LIFE the way God wants me to.....NOT THE WAY MY MUM AND MY FAMILY WANT ME TO!

I have finally started planning my dream wedding......and trust me its not been do you start planning your wedding without the support of your own family.....I thank God for surrounding me with friend s and loved ones who continue to encourage and support me.

My situation just feels so weird, here I am brainstorming themes, colours , venues and so on withoutthe knowledge of / support from my family .

I have accepted the fact that they might never come around to respecting my decision and choice as to who I want to spend the rest of my life with.... but deep down there is still a bit of hope that they will come around before the D Day.

In the mean time MR and I are still doing all that we can to make sure that we do things the right way...just to put them to shame and to prove them wrong. I can just imagine how Mr feels about this whole situation and I know that he continues to stay positive when there isn't even a shadow of hope. I just pray that God continues to bless him with patience and the strength to endure all the harsh treatment that he continues to receive from my family because I know that it hurts him so much but he continues to do all that he can to get over it. Its just frustrating!!

We went window shopping for rings a few weeks ago.... just browsing ooh I beg.....I take it he just wanted to get a feel of what i like and will be expecting when he finally decides to propose. It was fun though and I hope he got all the hints that i dropped because that ring better he off the hooook!!! Or else i will i will say NO !! lie lie I WILL SAY YESS OOOHHH even if he produces an elsatic band in a match

The search for my wedding gown begins after the Christmas break as I have decided to start shopping knowing how fusssy I am and just so I have enough time to set up my saving for it.....Lord help me. But there are are still two major things that Mr and I are planning to carry out in the next couple of weeks:

He has been advised to come and see my mum to make his intentions known and to ask when it will be best to send his family members over to meet her......this is our last resort in the situation as she didn't take me serious when I broke the news to her a few months back BREAKING THE NEWS - Update . This will be her chance to tell MR what she really thinks of him and this whole relationship of ours, as she has never confronted MR about our relationship and the fact that she does not approve of him.

The outcome of this meeting will determine the next step towards our future together as Mr and I will have to travel to Ghana to see the elders of my late dads family and to inform them of the situation and our intention to get married, as custom demands that I be given away for marriage by my dad/ His family. They are will therefore be able to give me away for marriage even without my mum approval. Hopefully that will give my mum a wake up call and if it doesn't I don't know what will.
So there is still a lot more drama to come as the next couple of weeks are going to present me with some more emotional ups and downs....Lord help me!!

I have just got so much going on in my minutes Im so happy over the moon that I am finally planning to get married to the Love of my life..and then the next minute I feel so sad cus i cant even pick up the phone to shre that joy with my family especilay my mum...
God willing things will go smoothly...but i kinda doubt that a little when it involes my mum....

Anyways Dissertation calllls ......I'm off to draft my peeps xxxx

Thursday, 22 November 2007

30 Days of Thanksgiving Day 22

I see that the tagging season is in full swing......people wont even give u the chance to have the sun go down on your post oooh next thing...they tag you again or someone else tags you.....haaba!!
For all you blogville crusaders I know its your way of getting people to update..... but the most important part of it all is that is helps us to get to know each other a lot better (7 wired/ Random Things) it also helps us share our lows (in updates) and our highs in tagging posts such as this one.

I was tagged by Zena my Sister from another mother...... I started blogging as a way of getting things off my chest ....dunno how i even discovered blogville ... oh now i remember i serching for latest Naija fashion news on google and came across Bella Naija's blog....the rest is history.......
I know my blogs usually address all the drama in my day to day life and sometimes makes me come across as one sad and dippresed cow, which is not the case as there good Lord always brings me out of the storms of life and gives me the strength to move on......Lets just say:
GOD HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME and i am therefore vey thankful .....!!
Father Lord.....You have good to me in all my 20something years on this earth, you have been :
My Redeemer My healer, My Strength, My Friend, My Advocate, My Restorer, My Bread for life, My Hiding place, My Rock, My Everlasting light, My Counsellor, My Spirit of truth & My refuge from the storm
OOOOOHHH Lord i could go on forever..........

  • I am thankful for the gift of life that gave to me and for the fact that you continue to grant me the opportunity to see the sun rise and set day after day
  • I am thankful for my family even thought they drive me up the wall and back but i know that you have presented with this challenge for a reason
  • I am thankful for the wonderful people in my life and on blogville who continue to continue encourage and support me in good and bad times
  • I am thankful for my good health and for the strength you continue to provide me
  • I am thankful for the man in my life who loves me even at my worst
  • I am thankful for the roof over my head
  • I am thankful for the dreams / visions that i continue to have about my dad (to let me know that he is still with me in spirit)
  • I am thankful for all the times that you carried me when the storms of life presented themselves in the worst way
  • I am thankful for the opportunity that u have given me to get to know you better
  • I am thankful for the ever supporting brothers, sisters and friends that i have come to know on blogville for all the miracles that u continue to perform in their lives:for Princesa 's mum, for Ugo Daniels's new Job, 30+'s new flat, 36 Inches of brown legs 's new, for 9jamommy's family, Aijay and her man, for An Ibo Dudes Corner's promotion and and his may trips, Bella Naija 's gist, Belle's recent weight loss, Calabar Girl 's strength to run all those maratons, Carl with a C 's sense of humor, catwalq 's origionality and cheekiness, Copido's new job, Ex - Schoolnerd's talent and sense of humour, Fatoumata's courage, guerreiranigeriana's many adventurous gists, Jaja's safe return from camp in one piece , for London Buki's mum, Mr Fine Boy 's talent, Mrs Somebody 's black jeans, for Naapalilife's career and family, for Naija gal's gists, for nyemoni 's peggie state, for Olamild& Onada's many talents, Overwhelmed Naija Babe's long legs that seem to attract a lot of attention, for Pink Satin who i miss very much, for Queen of my castle's truthfulness, for my newly developing bond of sisterhood withSha Crown, solomonsydelle and her lil monster squad who make me soooo broody, Teediva!! and her wild imagination and talent, undacovasista and her many trips and pictures that make me want to go on holiday, unNaked Soul's originality, Wedding Vouge's many ideas to get me in the mood, Write freak's talent and last but not the least for Zena who tagged me and gave me the opportunity to count me blessings and be thankful for them.
Happy moments, PRAISE GOD!
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD!!
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD!!!
Painful moments, TRUST GOD!!!!
Every moment, THANK GOD!!!!!

I have tagged Queen of my castle & Naapalilife ... I am out .. x x x x x

Monday, 19 November 2007

My First Meme- Weird/Random Facts about me

You guys are soo amazing.. i mean the support and love that you guys show me is soo overwhelming and gives me a ray of hope... I LOVE YOU GUYS SOO MUCH AND MAY GOD ALMIGHTY BLESS YOU IN ALL YOU DO!! Amen!
Ok Ok Arewa pull yourself together now!! So Zena tagged me just as i put up my last post and can you believe the girl tagged me again less than a week after.....and then What happens ...princesa also catches the tagging fever and tags me.....Nah wah for your girls ooh U wan kill me ......I'm being tagged all ova the damn place but no shaking... bring it on!!
So here goes ....... (Zena you better be reading this or else........)

This damn thing is even more difficult than I thought... i cant seem to think of any weird things about myself, so i guess i will go for random that's if i can think if any.....
1) I have never used a public toilet in my life .....i just cant do it no matter how hard i try not even in i end up holding my weewee till i get to my final destination and trust me it not easy at all especially in the winter awwwww
I have been told that its bad habit to hold wee for that lon but I just cant do it!!

2)I can not stand the smell of bananas when other people eat them around me. Especially if the banana is very ripe...But i absolutely enjoy eating them myself

3)Now don't get me wrong on this one... I dont have a shoe fetish oooh..But the first think I look out for when i see a good looking guy( my kinda guy) anywhere be it it the shop, on the bus where ever... the next thing i look at are his shoes...if they are crusty and battered then he is a no no...and if his trousers rise up to / swing at his ankles when he sits down(and do not rest his shoes)then he has absolutely no chance...this was my criteria for men who tried to toast me and i still use it up till today even though i have a lets just say the length of a mans trousers and the state of his shoes tell me a lot about the sort of man he is......

4)I dance a lot better in front of my mirror than when I'm out in Public......I swear i could win the dance championships by dancing in front of my bedroom mirror .

I start of dancing like i have two left feet and then it gets a bit better but never as good as the steps i produce in my bedroom.

5)I always fantasied about getting married to an Oyinbo and having mixed race kids with long thick hair, when i was a kid. Only God only knows what the hell i was thinking back then.......I LOVE ME A STRONG BLACK MAN..A NAIJA ONE FOR THAT MATTER.....WINK WINK

6)I am totally against girls/ women who wash their panties in washing machines together with the rest of their clothes.......I am a traditionalist when it comes to washing of underwear.....i believe that panties should be washed by hand for best results and not in washing machines....i was thought to wash my panties proper proper by hand and my aunties were always there to inspect them to make sure that they were nice and clean

7)My first attempt at kissing a boy took place when i was 16 and trust me i couldn't even hack that i jumped when he tried to introduce his tongue into the whole equation....oh boy i was such a wussssss then (when all my mates had perfected the art of dropping it like its hot and the art of know what i mean) ohhh the joys of teenage life.
The dude still teases me up till today...loL

DONE !!So there you go 7 wired and random facts about me.......
I am supposed to Tag 7 random people at the end of my post and include links to their blogs, so if you see your name below it means that i don tag you oohhhhh and don't act like you ain't seen it..Jaja, Ugo Daniels, guerreiranigeriana, Naapali, Belle, Writefreak & Sha
Have a nice week people...I'm out x x x

Wednesday, 14 November 2007

Letting it all out !!

Im hereee ooooh . Heres your update SOLOMONSYDELLE. Sha we are cool
How is everyone one doing.....?! Oh and Zena just in acse ur wondering my meme soon come.....

God has been good to us and has blessed us with another week which is almost comming to an end.....May He continue to have mercy on us and grant us peace in all that we do and May He continue to give us the strenth and courage to dea with the challenges that we face in our daily dealings.....Amen!!

Thanx for all the comments to my last blog... Esi's relationship is just a mystery to me .. I just cant understand why things just dont seem to be working out for them but maybe they just arent meant to be.
Esi and her man had a talk the other day and as usual nothing useful came out of it girl claims that her relationship is coming to an end.. i know she still loves him and is finding it hard to let go but ........i think she will do so in her own time. I just feel for her as she is soo depressed. Why do some relationships have to be soo full of drama....

Anyway moving on i have had a bit of an emotional week and have to get it all of my chest so here goes:

Dreams become a road Though we cannot see, But yet from a path That shapes reality. Then the unmanifest is etched by pure design. The dreams are bought to life When faith and effort combine. For these are needed tools To carve a pathway through, The tunnel of success Which lies deep inside you. Though you see no path, Proceed with faith as eyes, For only by stepping out, Will the road before you rise.

.......i have beeen looking at my life in a very different light since breaking the news to my mum and it feels a bit weird. For once its all about me and no one else... i am training myself say NO! and to put myself first as no one (family) is prepared to do that for me and continue to be selfish in every way.

Reality hit me when i was down with the flu.....You see the thing is that I have 2 siblings older sister then brother and i am the last. My sister suffers from sickle cell which means that she cant really do much and always needs to take things easy......My brother on the other hand is a mummy's boy, who continues to kiss my mums ass at his age (34) he does this and sides up with my mum even when she is wrong.....this his way of draw attention away from the things that he gets up to(dating all sorts of girls..and getting up to no good) he also has traits of Sickling but not as bad a s my sisters.
Ok so back to what i was saying.... I decided to go and see my GP on monday and fancied some light soup- Ghanaian version of pepper soup. Will u believe that i had to get on the busy after my appointment to go to the shops just to get meat fish and a few things to make myself soup....I ended up not being able to even eat the soup after making it as i had lost my appetite.

The reason why i felt so sorry for myself was that one in my family mother, brother or sister even considered making soup for me. the point i am trying t make is that i felt like i was invincible to my family one bothered to ask ..ah what do you really Fancy oooh?!

And yet when my mother needs something ..i will be the first person that she calls, when my siblings are in hospital, i am always the one who runs around doing hospital runs alongside work and my studies and yet when it come to me no one seem to be bothered. Dont get me wrong my mum called me on 2 occasions to see how i was doing but all of that was just ceremony... there was no feeling of care or sympathy from sister called on a few occasions my brother just asked me as few times if i wanted to try other forms of medication......all in tones that did not really show any care what so ever.
As a child, i always imagined that i will be spoilt and pampered as the last baby of the family but its been the opposite for me.....i have been maltreated and taken for granted by the people that are supposed to be my family.
When people talk to me and tell me about how important family is......what i ask them is a family is only important when they lend you support, show you love and make you feel like you belong. What good is a family that shows no love and only seems to want your downfall.
I know that the bible says to forgive people who offend you......but how do you forgive people who offend you to the point of trying to take away your identity and wish you no good. specially when they continue to disrespect and maltreat you constantly.
I am only human and as hard as i try , theses things still get to me and all i do is pray for God to forgive them and ask him to for the strength to forgive them and move on with my life.......BUT HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO GO ON LIVING LIKE THIS .........?? HOW MUCH LONGER......THIS CANT BE RIGHT NOW......!!


Theres soo much hurt in my heart that has been caused by my family but I am working on it and Iam letting it all go. I am trying to cleanse my heart and soul of all the hurt and pain that they have caused me over the last 10years.
I will give u a bit more insight as that moths go by ... but this part of my cleansing process.....with GOD LEADING THE WAY AND WITH HIS RAY OF LIGHT SHOWING ME THE WAY..... I KNOW I WILL MAKE IT........!!


Wednesday, 7 November 2007

I love u but..I dont TRUST u!!

Guess who is back in full, maself and I ....the flu finally got the message and buggered off. Still feel a bit funky now and then but my GP claims that i should be ok by next week....Thank God for that cause there was no way i was going to be taking anymore agbo jedijedi and all those pescribed tablets.Trust me it was soo bad that MR started to call me a Druggie.....the bloody cheek.
Thanks for all the get well wishes and to those of u who didnt bother wishing me well ... lets just say ....WE SHALL SEE..(U know who u
Ok so now i need your help people...... just a few ideas because i just cant seem to get my head around this whole issue:
One of my very good friends from back in the day called me just the other day to see how i was doing as we hadnt spoken in a quiet a while as we had both been really busy(lets call her Esi) I strated on the usual note asking about her family, her studies, work and then finally her man....she was answering as i threw the questions at her but i sensed a bit of hesitation when i asked about her man....all she said was ahh he is there compaired to the usual oh he is fine ooh ..i even just got of the phone with him blah blah blah...

So i started probing and thing my friend just broke down in tears....saying how she was fed up and didnt know if she can deal with all of this anymore....Esi and her man have been togather for 8yrs and there has always been a bit of insecurity on her mans side.. he gets very paranoid when Esi fails to pick up his calls, he gets very jealous when she mentions her male friends or male aquientance even her he had accused her of having something to do with him a while ago just because she felt very unwell a while ago and had to keep going in for regular check ups.

Heres a typical example....... Esi left her phone in a taxi last week and luckily had the phone returned to her local station a few hours later......there were about 10 missed calls on her phone 8 of which were from him....The phone rings a few minutes later the phone rings and Esi picks up:

Esi: Helloo?

Boyfriend: So ur picking up my call now?! i take it that u have finished doing whatever it wa u were doing with him

Esi: What r u on about.....i left my phone in a taxi and had it retured not even up to 10mins ago
Boyfriend: U mean u have finished with the man that uwerwe with sooo u can pick up now ..isny it?!
Esi: I dont know aht u r talking about.. did u not hear what i just told u
Boyfriend: U keep on doing whatever t is ur doing..we shall seee(then he hungs up)

Now in the begining when Esi use to complain to me about her mans behaviour.. I use to tell her that He would change after a while as he just needed some reassurance from her and we put it down to the fact thathe might have been really hurt in the past.....and also due to that fact that Esi is a very attractive young woman who turns heads whereever she goes......
But how do u begin understand this when it has gone on for soo long. What does it take to earn the trust f a man like this?.. I honestly dont know how Esi managed to put up with this for soo long .....I guess deep down she has always had some hope that things will change and that she would earn his trust somehow.....she has never cheated on him and has always been very true to him so where is all this comming from? And what happens now as he has started saying things like 'maybe u two should not be together anymore' and saying things like 'I LOVE U BUT I CANT TRUST U'?

What do i say to encourage her to keep holding on...or do i just tell her to up and go ? How long will u put up with a guy or a girl like this?Where does one start from when u break up from an 8yr relationship?
I honestly dont know how thier relationship has managed to thrive for 8yrs in this condition as I have always believed that TRUST is one of the most important elements that steers a relation in the right way....

Thursday, 1 November 2007

Nothing but love xx x

Charlie Eti sen as my Ashanti Country man will say. ok now in Naija Fashion Wetin dey my people? Dont mind me just messing around...Im still a bit overwhelmed from the love and support that you guys showed on my last post!! acainto, Zena, The Last King Of Scotland, WendyB, akin, Unbiased, Naapali, Ugo Daniels , Sassy, anonymous gal , Queen of My Castle , Writefreak, Aijay, Belle, Fatoumatta , Nyemoni, Olamild, 30+ , guerreiranigeriana , NikkiSab, AN IBO DUDE'S CORNER , 9jamommy, 36 INCHES OF BROWN LEGS, UnNaked Soul , Jinta , Teediva, cally-waffybabe , Overwhelmed Naija Babe, CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS , princesa, UndaCovaSista ...I have got nothing but love for yalll, May God Almighty Continue to guide and bless you in all you do. AMEN
Those of you asking about wedding websites and Bridezilla Diaries wah for you ooh...ibi like say i yan una say MR don guys are on another level ooh....but anyways no shaking as the jamaican man says 'soon come'!

My week hasnt been that great (no worries nothing to do with momsi...i'm so over her and her shakara) I have been struggeling with the flu for that past 2 weeks. Went to see my GP on Monday after taking a full dose of flu medicine plus Agbo gedijedi as adviced by MR. (who was begining to think that i was preggienant) only to be told by the doctor that (waiteeee now... i am not pregnant oooh so 4get I have a viral flu which takes up to 2 to 4 weeks to cure! 2 - 4 weeks ke....LORD HELP ME!
You see the reason why i am a bit upset is that ....MR and I have had a house guest visiting from Naija for the past 3 months and we were planing to have a dirty weekend(wink wink) this weekend. So it meant no hanky panky as the last thing i want to do is pass my flu on to MR and plus my stamina is not quiet up to
So my next couple of weeks will be spent in bed....trying to nurse this aje Flu, while working on my assignments and hearing MR scream GOAL...BABA GOAL, AWOR....from the living room as he watches Man U the likes play footie.

None the less I must say things havent been that bad as i have been living my life like its GOLDEN(in Jill Scotts words) Taking everyday as it comes......
Anyway enough blabbing ..Im off to take my next dose of DAY NURSE......
Yall stay blessed and have a wonderful weekend.... i know I WONT.....l8r xx x

Thursday, 18 October 2007


TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED - So I am moving on....!

OK so where do i begin...well anyone who has been reading my blogs for the last few months will be aware of the situation with my mum not approving of the man i intend to spend the rest of my life with. Reason being: He is NIGERIAN(and I am Ghanaian) and also because he comes form a family with mixed religion( Christian and Muslim).

Mr and i have been seeing each other for almost 6yrs now and trust me it hasnt ben easy. As i have been doing my best and trying all things possible to put my mum in the picture for the last 4 years.. but she just keeps comming up with all these excuses and just wont send.

So a few months ago Mr and I had a heart to heart about the future of our relationship and decided that it was time for me to step up and tell my mum of our intention to take our relationship to the next level by getting engaged and then married once I graduate from University in June.
This was not an easy decision to make at all and trust me I was scared to break the news to my mum as I didnt how I would handle things if she went off on i spoke to a lot of my Uncles, Aaunties and Cousins for some advise on the best way to go about thing. All this time praying and fasting about it as i felt a bit lost and needed direction and the strength to break the news to my mum.
The plan was to get my cousin and Uncle to sit with me while i talked to mum but things did not go accordingly, so i decided to take matters into my own hads and speak to my mum one on one.
But trust me I was still kinda scared when the time came........thinking back now.. I dont really know why i was scared....i guess it was just because i finally had to stand up to my mum about my future with MR. As i have allowed them to dictate to me for soo long.
Lets just say that ...... I was not expecting her to jump for joy and finally accept and respect my decision. After saying all that i had intended to say to her about family introductions and all our other plans..all she said was that she was not ready to meet Mr's family.
I thought ...Well at least she did not say oner her dead body and stress the fact that she wont attend our wedding if we intend to take things thats a change.

I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulder after speaking to her although she still does not approve.......Mr and I are now making arrangements for the necesaary prcedures to follow... but in the time being, my Uncles and Aunties are still on my side and trying to gradually get my mum tochange her mind.
All of this is just not fair on me... I have dedicated over 25yrs of my life to family and they still want to have me attending to thier needs forever... NO WAY.
I just dont get it. I am the only one that my mum and sibblings call on when they need help but no one is e ver there for me. They never give a damn about anything my needs but are always tryingh to tell mewhat to do when it comes to decisions in my life that caoncern my future. that cant be right.
I know that families are very important in our lives but what do u do when this same family never seem to want whats best for you and respect your decisions.
They never give u a pat on the back .. or say well done or Thank u for anything that i do.....they just keep trying to hold me back in everything that involves me moving on in my life.

Why!!!Why cant they just leave me alone!!


A lot of people have adviced me to go on and do what I feel is best for me and that my mum will come around in the her behaviour has nothing to do with MR but rather with the fact that she doesnt want to let me go/lose me.. but trust me its not easy!!

Words of Inspiration that have kept me going so far....

When the burden that you carry seems impossible to endure just look up to the Lord for your help from him is sure.
He knows just what you need, You're his child after all, Just call upon his precious name He will never let you fall.
And through it all continue to praise, Knowing that you'll be set free, seek his face, He's always be there, Have faith and you'll see

Looking back at my life so far.. i have really been blessed in so many ways and accept that I need to count my blessings and be Thankful to the Almighty and commit all my worries unto him so my concluding phrase for this blog will be :


Monday, 15 October 2007


Black History Month has been celebrated in the UK ever October for over 30years. It was set up to commemorate and celebrate the achievements of the black community and to also uncover the hidden history about our communities -BHM Website.
I am very passionate about my culture and heritage and always defend it to the best of my ability. This is not very easy when you live in a society where people take you for granted and belittle you just because of the colour of your skin, where the only ideas that your friends and colleagues have of your so called country of birth is what they see in Oxfam Adverts and on CNN,where people think that all Africans live in huts and that Africa is country and not a continent!

Most of us have left our countries of birth in search of greener pastures but let us not forget who we are and where we come proud of who u are and where u from and no one can ever take that away from you.
I came across this poem by Wayne Visser( a South African Poet) during my first year when I was carrying out some research for my Media Studies assignment. Just thought i share it with u.

I am an African Not because I was born there But because my heart beats with Africa’s
I am an African Not because my skin is black But because my mind is engaged by Africa
I am an African Not because I live on its soil But because my soul is at home in Africa
When Africa weeps for her children My cheeks are stained with tears
When Africa honours her elders My head is bowed in respect
When Africa mourns for her victims My hands are joined in prayer
When Africa celebrates her triumphs My feet are alive with dancing

I am an African For her blue skies take my breath away And my hope for the future is bright
I am an African For her people greet me as family And teach me the meaning of community
I am an African For her wildness quenches my spirit And brings me closer to the source of life When the music of Africa beats in the wind My blood pulses to its rhythm And I become the essence of music
When the colours of Africa dazzle in the sun My senses drink in its rainbow And I become the palette of nature
When the stories of Africa echo round the fire My feet walk in its pathways And I become the footprints of history

I am an African Because she is the cradle of our birth And nurtures an ancient wisdom
I am an African Because she lives in the world’s shadow And bursts with a radiant luminosity
I am an African Because she is the land of tomorrow And I recognise that her gifts as sacred


Friday, 5 October 2007

Why men cheat !

Ok so i decided to help one of my friends with some resech as she writes for one womens magazine.....she was just looking up interesting topics for the copule of months ...s o i thpught what the heck let me just help a sister out....Trust me it was soo much fun....I came across a few articles and findings that will be sharing with I would like to hear what the guys and ladies out there think about this issue so here goes. i have edited some of it but but trust me the juicey bits are all intact....Enjoy!!

The findings and quotes in this article are all opinions expressed by iVillage members(Womens website).
Source/Credits: Abby Schwartz and Eileen Livers

Like it or not men cheat. They stare @other girls even when you are with them(looku looku) . They're obsessed with big butts and big boobs…
The married ones come home late from work with the excuse of having to work late or attending one meeting, then the poor wives find lipstick marks on their collars.
Research carried out by iVillage reveled that men do cheat and they definitely cheat more than their female counterpart.
In the original Kinsey Report, published more than 50 years ago, approximately 60 per cent of men, compared to 30 per cent of women, were unfaithful to their spouses before the age of 40. (Now that's not nice)Those numbers have remained much the same in subsequent studies over the years. So reading on…..I finally got to what I really wanted to know


1. SEX: Men just can't control their eyes, hands and ...'Women need a reason to have an affair, men just need a place' - go_getter'Men will cheat if given the opportunity. They are just like that! They can be happy in their relationship and life, but if the opportunity to cheat is there, they will do it! I really believe they can't help it.' - ldrake5477'I asked my boyfriend why men cheat.... He said, 'Men do it for sex'. He said that a man can have sex with another woman and not feel anything for her' - pismotam

2. QUICK FIX: Although sneaking around takes a lot of effort, many iVillagers believe that more effort is required to salvage a rocky relationship.'People have affairs because they are lazy. It is easier to go running off with the office tramp than it is to admit something is wrong with your relationship and make a commitment to work on it' - jesusfreak1'I think if people took half the time and effort they put into sneaking around and channelled that energy into making a great marriage or relationship, they would realise that, most of the time, what they are looking for has always been with them.' - who_dat'Sometimes the thought of divorcing and changing everyone's lives is much too hard to handle. So the easier choice is an affair. I don't think it's the right choice, but most people will take the easier road, thinking no one will be hurt because they are keeping the marriage and family intact. - lovestargazer

3. THE FRAGILE MALE EGO: We all like to be complimented by the opposite sex and, according to many iVillage women, that's the ground for most men's affairs.'My now ex-husband not only cheated on me but on every former lover, girlfriend and wife (one before me) with whom he was involved. It was an emotional thing. He had to prove to himself that he was attractive and appreciated by women. It was his way of judging himself and his own self worth. - laughingagain 'I think unfaithfulness goes hand in hand with low self-worth. Cheaters seek approval or fulfilment in the eyes of another person when they should be looking within themselves.' - weasy71 'I think it has a lot more to do with how the cheater fells about his/her self, rather than how the cheater feels about his/her spouse.' - lee_823

4. TO FILL A VOID: Many iVillagers concluded that men cheat because they are not satisfied with their relationships. When something is missing, be it regular sex or healthy communication, men try to fill this gap with an affair. 'Just like women, men cheat when there is something lacking in a relationship. The wife may not even see what's missing. Maybe the man wants kinkier sex and is afraid to ask, or has already been turned down. Maybe he's cheating with another woman who doesn't nag him.' - barrysgal 'My husband and I had problems, and he tried to solve them with someone else. It didn't solve them - it just made them worse.' - djb61 'I guess, in a nutshell, the reason why a spouse cheats is because he/she feels alone.' - olivepop

5. SELFISHNESS: Whether they're immature, greedy or just haven't got a clue, some men don't value or respect their partners, say iVillagers. 'Sometimes people cheat in a marriage because they are not mature enough to understand and live by their vows.' - meanmommy 'Cheating is one of the most selfish acts a person can commit, because despite the fact that they entered into a relationship with another person they choose to act as though they are the only one whose feelings, needs and desires matter.' - nura_p 'Somehow we've become so convinced about what we're entitled to that we have completely lost sight of what we are responsible for. It doesn't matter who gets hurt, as long as we get what we want.' - juliewho 'I believe some people are so needy they devour their partner's love and move on.' - aZVDB


Wednesday, 26 September 2007

Absolutely Unacceptable.....

I write this blog with a heavy i am still upset and fuming from the events of the past week.
Mr and I were involved in settling disagreements between two married couples (friends of ours)all within the space of four days. I am not talking just couples disagreeing or arguing about stuff oooh. This one nah blow for blow exchange.
I do not think that it is right for a man to hit a woman especially his wife and i do not think that it is also right for a woman to also hit a man.
Guys don't get me wrong ooh i know that some women know how to wind their men up to the point of no return but.. i think that a real man should be able to walk away from the situation no matter what, without giving in to the temptation of raising your hand to strike a woman.
I also know that men sometimes take the utter piss to the point that you feel like killing them but ..we need to be able exercise self control in such situation.

The bit that really gets to me in all this is that both couple have kids who witness all this madness every time that it happens. Why will any parent want to put their child through all that.

Hitting ones wife/ Girlfriend/ Husband/ Boyfriend does not solve the problem .. it only complicates things....

Mr and Mrs A. live just next door to us and have a beautiful daughter who turns 2 in October. Their situation is soo complicated as it involves so many little & big things that have happened over the years. So any little disagreement always erupts into a big fight, which end up in bruise, broken doors, plates ...u name it. Evryone in the area knows about thier fights but.. no one has dared to ever call the Police as we feel thatit might lead to Social Services taking thier Daughter away.. i guess no one wants to be a home recker.
I know that people have made silly remarks that it might be their way of expressing their love for each other.. which i think is totally absurd. WEY KAN LOVE B THAT?
They fight each other at least twice a month and it is not easy to live next door to such drama. Mr and I decided a long time ago not to get involved any longer but it not easy when u hear them fighting and knowing that there is a two year old who sees all this..... is heart breaking.
I always feel akward when thier daugther visits us and tries to explain what her parents get up to (just because she is upset)...How do u make a child of 2 understand why her mum and dad get into fist fights?
Mr and Mrs B (are a mixed couple...Mr is from Naija while Mrs is from Lithuania)
Well to cut a long story short, Mr had been running up his phone bill by calling one chick that he works while his Mrs was away on holiday, he claimed he was helping her with her papers and this was well to known to the Mrs but his Mrs started to get a bit suspicious as Mr always excuses himself when this chick called and will be speaking really quietly if u know what i mean(like he was hiding something) So Mrs called the girl and asked her if there was anything going on as she did not feel that her husband should whisper or excuse himself everytime she calls him......
Now in true black people style the girl flipped at the Mrs telling her that she should have a word with her husband as he was the one chasing her and about how she is more prettier than the Mrs and a whole load of rubbish so the Mrs Flipped on her and cussed her proper.
So we(a few female friend as the Mrs doesn't have many friends) were at their house on the weekend about to celebrating their sons 2nd birthday when Mr walked into the house(as he had popped out earlier on) went straight to the Mrs and started asking her why she called the chick he works with and what ahe said to her.......
The Mrs was a bit surprised as he was doing this in our presence and in the presence of soo many other kids.....she did not say anything to him as she did not want to cause a scene...
Next thing we heard was whhammm Whhhammm Mr had slapped his Mrs twice and she was on the floor.
We all stood there in Mr's actions. The kids were all staring and a couple of them begun to cry. A couple of us rushed to help after a few seconds of digesting what had just happened we tried to get Mr off Mrs but we just were not strong enough so i got on the phone and called my swwetheart to come over and help (as welive just round the corner from them) which point Mr just stormed out the door swearing and cussing.
I just could not believe it we all stood there not knowing what to say, as MRS obviously felt very uncomfortable because we had all witnessed the drama. But i must give her a lot of credit because she did not show a single sign of fear or weakness all though i knew that it was just a front.
What on earth will cause a man to strike a woman?

What would u have done if you were Mrs episode two's situation..cause i just don't want to sound bias.. but i Will take my bags and leave if my husband should ever hit me ooh.

How do u advice a friend in such a situation.......especially when there are kids involved and they start to pick up this violence displayed by their parents?


Sunday, 16 September 2007

Nyash like wow......


Had a really stressful weekend but that ...i will leave for later cus i'm soo not in the mood to get pissed off again so i will gist u guys later.

Anyway I just want to thank all you wonderful people out there for the love and support that you guys gave me on my last blog topic.

The entire issue has been bugging me for years and I just had to get it all out. I hesitated a lot before putting up that blog.. but now .. I'm glad I did.
I LOVE U GUYS TO DA MAX !!!(Naapali, Manda, Labelle, Dreaming Truth, Aijay, Olamild,Nikkisab &Ugo Daniels) x x x x x
OK so on a lighter note, i was reading Ex Schoolnerds blog last week about Looku looku......which i absolutely enjoyed reading, little did i know that i was going to make an extreme close up of looku looku.
Well lets just say i had a very close encounter a woman whose ass was bigger than that of an elephant... I swear Im not exaggerating oooh.
Damn the womans assss was hhhuuuuuuggggeeee!! Ah ah

I got on the bus to work the other morning..and as usual the bus was full with the usual school kids and 9 - 5'ers...I stood by the door for a while looking around to see if i could spot an empty seat by luck.
And BINGO! there it was....a seat just a few meters away. I was a bit surprised that no one had taken the seat as there were a lot of people i thought well it must be my lucky day..
I did the usual excuse me please! ..excuse me please! i made my way to the seat ...Hoping that no one would decide to beat me to it.....(u know there are some evil people out there, they only want something once they see someone going for it)
It was only when i got to the seat that i realised that there was a woman sitting in the chair next to the one I had spotted... ok well not just an average sized woman....
She was kind of on the HUGE
But i just thought ah well...It cant be that bad i can manage sitting next to her for about 6 bus stops.
I noticed something spilling out from her sides unto my seat but i immediately assumed that she probably had something in her pocket as she was wearing a cardigan..and so i just sat down......what ever it was that was spilling out unto my seat seemed to be taking up a bit of my seat and was feeling a bit uncomfortable so i decided to take a look.. just in case i was sitting on the stuff in her pocket ...or something like that.....
OMG.....U should have seen the look on my face when i realised that what i was feeling on my seat was actually part of the woman's hips that has taken up part of my seat...yie!!
I was in Shock for like 2mins and thought what the hell is all this and how the hell does she carry all of this around the damn place.
Lets just say i sat on a half a seat for about 5 stops as she got off a stop before mine.....
And trust me her getting off the bus was not that easy....people had to make way and she definitely rubbed a few people up the wrong way while trying to get off the bus.
I got to see her full figure when she got off the bus.I know its rude to stare but i just couldnt help it and trust me everyone on the bus was staring.
At that point, I remembered Ex- Schoolnerds blog about Looku looku and couldnt help but giggle. Oh girl (ExSchoolnerd) this blog is dedicated to you Girlfriend.......U crack me up!!

But i must confess that my back felt heavy just from watching the lady walk. Ouch!!

Wednesday, 12 September 2007



He use to come to my room late at night while everyone was asleep
I always begged him not to
Because I just did not like what he was doing
It just felt sooo wrong
I was so scared of metioning it to anyone
I that they might not believe me or
That they might get upset with me
EVEN AS A CHILD i knew what he was doing was wrong
But how was i to tell my parents or anyone else
What do i say

I was only 8......


Lord i look back at those days and ask myself
Why didnt i fight him
Why did i allow him to do those things to me
I have had to deal with the effects of his actions for all these years
It affected me in some ways
It was sucha horrible experience.....
Now when i think back to those times,
I cant even remember the episodes too well
My friend says that it is my way of trying to forget everything that happened
I know that he feels guilty and is Sorrry
Because he apologised to me a few years ago and is now a born again Christian
But am I just supposed to forgive him....
I very hard not to let it affect me ..
But it springs up in my mind every ow and then
I Hate myslef more and more for letting him do this to me...


Wednesday, 5 September 2007


I just thought that I should share my joy with you lovely people.

One of my friends asked me to be Godmother to her son last week. I must say that i was very suprised because I only got to know this friend through one of my best friends about 3 yrs ago and thought it was really thoughtful of her and her husband to have picked me.

Thinking about it ...i just reaslise how amazing it is when we look at ourselves and somehow think that we are not really (dunno if this the right word to use.. but i hope u know what i am trying to say) perfect or that we could be better than we are - when we do not realise how much other people look up to us just for being ourselves..Ok now i feel like Iam going on too much.

So my blogville family... I would like to introduce u all to my Godson J. aka Yum Yum - cus everything goes straight into his mouth...!!!!

Tuesday, 28 August 2007

Update breaking the news....Refection Time - B'day

Ugo Daniels make u no vex oooh jare.... I have just been busy doing a few things here and there.. u know how we do...

So my people My heart is still in my backside ohhhh ... I still ha vent broken the news to my mum yet.. it seems as if she knows what is about to happen ....she normally works for about 3 weeks and comes home for a week but this time she has been gone for more than 6 weeks.

But no stress cause I have been using the time to do a bit of underground work to cover my backside -- if u know what i mean. I have been speaking a few relatives on my mums side like my mums older brother and my cousins just to keep them on stand by as i might be needing them to help me reason with my mum once i 'drop the bomb'.
And so far i things are looking good and i must say i feel a bit positive about the whole thing now.
I definitely know that my mum will kick a big fuss once i break the news to her but at least all there will be no one to side with her as I have managed to get my Uncles, Aunts and cousins on board (they've all known the situation from the beginning and feel that my momsi is overdoing things)

I know that if worst comes to worst, my Uncles on my fathers side /fathers family are the ones who will give me away but i still feel that my mums blessing is key and will make my man and i even happier.

Oh gah ju........all this wahalal just because I WANT MARRY MY SWEETHEART OOH.

Oh and at least i wont be breaking the news to her on my own as my uncle and oldest cousin have offered to sit with me when i decide to fill my mum in, at least there will be someone to hide behind in case she decided to land me (just joking)

So my people that's its for now ooh the waiting continues...... Thanks for all the support and advise.. i really appreciate it.

So ....My birthday was just another ordinary day ... nothing special.. i kept things on the D_low. I had decided to go into work the week before but i decided not to at the last minute cause i didn't want those silly ass people at work to start thinking that i don't have a life (not that there is anything wrong with working on your birthday ooh i beg)

i had been feeling very low a few weeks before my birthday which was a bit strange .. not that i get hyper about my birthdays at all just that i had never felt this depressed about my birthday before. I think it also had to do with the fact that i was still worried about this whole braking the news to my mum shenanigan.
Everyone kept asking me what i was doing for my birthday cause my man and i are well known for throwing the best Barbecue parties and everyone had been waiting for their invitation to my B'day BBQ. Lets just say they were all disappointed when i told them that I was taking this easy this year.

My man and i have a tradition giving presents at midnight (the first few mins of the new day) so i intentionally had my nightly shower a little earlier than usual and got into bed. and that was when my emotions got the best of me.
I said my prayers tearfully ....Thanking God for my life and all the wonderful things he had done for me in my _ years on earth....blah blah blah. I calmed down after my prayers and started to reflect on the past years and what i have managed to achieve so far (trust me it has not been easy at all)..I tried to console myself that someone somewhere is probably going thorough worse and that i have to be Thankful for what i have.

At this point my man walked into the room and i quickly wiped my tears and pretended that i was asleep .... hoping that i would stop him from waking me up and doing the whole Happy Birthday and presentation ritual....But it didn't ooh.
He woke me up and started singing His remixed version of Happy Birthday (traditional/50 cent style) which i thought was sweet (but my emotions were still all over the place).he then settled down gave me my presents and speech about life, birthdays and his love for me, you should have seen my face : (
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry and so I just let it all out and burst out in tears like a baby

And as always my understanding sweetheart comforted me and advised me to use the day not only as a day of reflection and counting my mistakes but as a day to be grateful to God for the number of years that he has granted me so far and the wonderful things that he continues to do in my life and so on and so forth....

In the end I decided to set myself new goals that i hope to achieve by my next 21st
And to appreciate the little things in life that we tend to ignore just because we are sooo focused on the big picture/ dream which does not come easy....


And by the way i am not a cry baby ooh .....all u cheeky people out there.. I know what u r capable of branding me as..

Thanks for all the birthady wishes -NuFf lOvE x x x

Monday, 6 August 2007

Its my Birthday 2day!!


I am 21 ; )

Update...Ikomo...Breaking the news!

My people how far oh? i havent broken the news to my momsi yet as she is away @ the moment . I will keep u guys posted. Thanks again for all the constructive advise ... I am really grateful..... STAY BLESSED x x x

Thursday, 26 July 2007

Ikomo Prt 2 /Breaking the News

Ohh I have to get it all out.....Sssssssoooooooo much has been going on in this little head and stressful life of mine so let my pour my thoughts out......

Thank God its all over.....Everything went well by His grace. I cant believe that we ended up hosting over 200 people... Talk abt people inviting themselves... But it wasnt bad cus there was more than enough food to go around. lets just say i was running around like a headless chicken from abt 3pm when Menu menu started until about 2am ..whn i finally went to bed...ok ok that's a bit of over exaggerating i did have a few beaks to sit down and chill but trust me i was drained ..haaba....!!

So a few days after the Ikomo my Man switched on me all of a sudden ...accusing me of being too comfortable in our relationship because I do not seem to be taking any proactive actions n order for our relationship to move to the next level (marriage) ei my people it is not easy ooh !!

I must confess that i have been a bit laid back of late but it is not easy when ur mum does not approve of the guy you have been seeing for over 6 years .. because he is not from the same country as u and also of the a different religion. My man and i have tried my very best to make my mum see that she needn't worry as we have thought abt these things carefully and have decided on how to make things work .
I know that my mum is only concerned and being protective but she needs to understand that .. the fact that i get married to someone from the same tribe , country or religion as myself does not gaurantee a happy marriage. It is up to the couple to compromise on their differences and make their marriage a success. I just dont know why everyone (uncles & aunties ) see my point and have advised my mum to give my relationship a chance but she just wont budge!

So i have decided to break the news to my mum......Lord help me ..... i dunno how she is going to take it as she mentioned a months ago that she has nothing more to say abt my relationship(u know what mothers are like ) but i dunno if that means that she accepts my relationship even though she is not keen on it or is that an African mums way of saying U WAIT & SEE WHAT I WILL DO!
What my mum fails to realise is that..s he and my man are ssoo alike and i know that they will get on so well together.....But she has never given him a chance.

I don't blame my man for switching on me anyway.. i understand how he feels .. he has put up with this behaviuor for over 6yrs and still loves me to bits even though my mum never really gives him a chance. God Bless him...He is such a figther and i love him soo much.for always being there and having my back.

I am soo scared of what my mums reaction will be......what if she decides not to give us her blessing ...........i love my man and want to spend the rest of my life with him .. i don't want to loose him after all these years..... so here goes ...Wish me luck......