Monday, 31 March 2008

Mission POSSIBLE !!

Where my people @.....Hope everything is cool with you all and that you have all started the week on a good note....Well mine hasn't been too bad....Had an appointment with my dissertation Supervisor today and he is very happy with my work so far all I have to do is keep a low profile and finish hard as it is due in about three weeks.

This post is one of my random ones so pardon me if i hop from one topic to the other.....

I went shopping with my one of my girlfriends over the weekend and came across a lovely bikini that i just could bring myself to try on ... you see the thing is that yours truly has been slaking in the fitness department for almost a year now causing me to loose my flat tummy and to gain a pair of very irritating love handles that have refused to disappear. The devil is a liar .... I have bought that bikini and I will fit perfectly into it for my next holiday/

My friend encouraged me to try it one... going on about how my bits are not as bad as i me too like mumu ... i tried it on and damn didnt it look good on....but those fatty bits just had to make themselves seen no matter ho hard i tried to conceal adjusting straps here and there.

So I have finally decided I NEED TO LOOSE A BIT OF WEIGHT!!! I decided to weight myself when i got home and i must confess it wasn't good at all. I have gone from weighting 11 stone to 13.5 stone in the last year.....That is not good!!
Mr claims that I look good but probably need to loose just a little bit .....and that just killed me because that was his way of saying Yeah i do think that you are a bit on the chubby side now!! FUMING!!!! He always has to try and be diplomatic about everything.
I am a bit frustrated with my weight although friends keep telling me that i look ok. But i don't see ok when i look in the see the thing is that I am 5'10 in height and have a figure that hides my weight and it also doesn't help that my big tata's, melon, tits....whatever you call them....already make me feel a bit funny about my body..(dont u go telling me 'big boobs are sexy and all that rubbish) YOU try carrying them around for a day.......

So I have decided to take up RUNNING and Skipping to get me started ... just something to keep fit and possibly shift the love handles and my extra tummy...... Joining the gym is out of the question for now as i had a not so nice experience about 6 months ago when I joined the gym in order to tone up a bit and to shift those bits and guess what....i got really pissed off cus i didnt seem to be toning up or losing any weight although i felt that i was building my stamina , in fact i actually gained a bit more weight over that time and decided to stop going to the gym altogether......
Anyway no shaking... its about time i get back into shape ... as I will have found my Wedding gown for December and will be starting my fittings in a few months and you know I also need to shape up for our Honeymoon period and the life of ever ready and everlasting sex (Morning, afternoon and evening)

Any ideas on ways in which i can shift my 'baby fat' ??? I am really crap at dieting cus i cant do without my agege bread, Eba, Kenkey, Rice , Rice Rice and More Rice oh yes and my pasta.

Lie lie... i will fit into that bikini and into my wedding gown without any wahala. i will be the stunning and blushing bride....I need to knock Mr OFF HIS FEET.....

Anyway.... yours truly is off to look for some running shoes on ebay...

Mission possible? Sure thing !!!!

Ps: This is not a ladies only post ooh so guys please feel free to comment.. i dont want to mention names...dont be silent bloggers ooh..

Tuesday, 25 March 2008

Next Level???!!

I just want to say a big THANK U to everyone who left comments on my last post...Omo you people are just Amazing. I thank God Almighty for your lives and pray that He will continue to bless you in all that you do...Amen!!!

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." - (1 John 4:18)
Ok so Mr has been my shoulder to lean on in the last few months not that he has never been there ooh but I have just been at an all time low and He has been there for me at all times and I am very grateful and Thanks God for bringing him into my life.

So we were having our usual chit chat over the weekend and found ourselves discussing marriage and what it means...or should I saw what we both understand it to and what we expect marriage to be about......yada yada yada....

I actually started off my expressing my feelings about how recent events and experiences in the marriages of close friends is beginning to kill my joy about getting married. there has been so much drama from domestic violence to husbands attempting to commit suicide just because love dont live in their house no more...., husbands attempting to run away with kids because wife is no longer interested in him due to his attitude towards her and the list goes on and on......(NO WORIES I WILL UPDATE WITH DETAILS LATER)
Why do things have to get so complicated and why cant people just sit down and talk and when this happens why cant they just come to a compromise especially when there are kids involved.
And when people say that they have forgiven and forgotten why the hell don't they just keep to their words.

I described marriage as moving on the next level but Mr objected saying that there is no such thing as the next level and claims that women tend to create this fantasy of what marriage life is all about , expecting unrealistic things to happen. And i totally object to that interpretation of the next level is looking forward to spending the rest of my life with the love of my life and starting a new life with him and the wonderful and kids and other blessings that Gods Almighty bestows on us. And of course i have expectations.....who doesn't.....I look forward to romantic get aways with my husband before the kids start pouring in....not to say that i expect that to stop once the babies start pouring in
But honestly.......I just think that some couples allow the hard times to overshadow the good ones.. i know it is easier said than done but there are people who have been through rough times but have remained married for yonks......
I have a couple of friends who have vowed never to get married just because they have been treated horribly in past relationships and just cant see themselves ever loving or trusting anyone ever again.
To those of you out there who are married... what is the secret to a successful marriage ?

To those who are in relationships and considering moving on to the next step....what are your expectations....., what are you looking forward to the most AND WHAT ARE YOU DREDING?

To those who have vowed not to get into serious relationships due to hurt and pain from past relationships..what will it take for you to let someone love you again......??

Oh and is there such a thing as the next level or is Mr just trying to kill my

Any advice.....Simi Speaks .. thats ur Q oohh oya advice us.... x x x x

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." - (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

Monday, 17 March 2008

Goingz Onzs 2

But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. - Isaiah 40:31

Hey guys... longest time....I know I have been MIA for a few weeks now. A lot of stuff has been going on.....
My dissertation is due at the end of April so you can just imagine..So so books and journals i dey read ... my head feeels like its about to explode. Almost done with my Lit review and my research so I will be starting my write up really soon..God help me!!
In the mean time.. my issues with my mum still continue.......I decided a few months ago(after my mums cold attitude towards Mr's familyNah real wah.....Back sliding ) to cut all communication with my mum, because she had disgraced me in front of my future in -laws and had also made a right ass of herself.

I know some of you might think that my decision is quiet harsh but I really do not care at this point. I mean how am I supposed to show my mum love and treat her right when she continues to treat me like shit as if i just dont exists. I must confess that my life has been a lot better with less stress since i took this decision.
I know i stated that i was feeling really depressed and felt that i was backsliding in my Nah real wah post, what i didnt mention was how bad my depression was...Mr had to beg me to rethink all the things that i was considering: such as throwing myself down the staircase, walking into oncoming traffic or even a drug overdose. I never thought that I would ever consider doing such extreme things to myself but i had just had enough of everything and constantly having to justify my choice in a life partner and apologising for my mums crude behaviour to soo may people. I was just soo fed up......I thank God for the little voice inside my head that always stopped me from doing anything silly and the power of love which made me consider the effects of my actions on my dearly beloved Mr, who has been my physical pillar of strength in all this. So i have gotten into the habit of taking long walks in order to have a good cry whenever i feel a bit down(and trust me it works). Why the hell should I take my life just because my mum is soo bent on making my life miserable? That should even motivate me to prove her what the hell am I doing by contemplating suicide.........DAMN I NEVER THOUGHT IT COULD GET THIS BAD.
I dont miss not being in touch with my mum or anything to do with her but then again what do i expect to miss as she was never there for me in as a mother should for a daughter. So how am I am suppose to miss something that was never there.......?

I hate to ask this but.. is it possible for a mother to be jealous of her own daughter ?
I went to see my priest a few weeks ago when I was feeling really depressed and he said a lot of things that made me think about my relationship wit my mum and the sentiments that keep me from moving on with my life.
I wont lie ooh.. My mum has caused me soo much pain by saying the most hurtful and demeaning things to me. She has made me feel like I am nothing and has reduced me to nothing...I still have issues with confidence and my self esteem but I am working on at it and doing all that I can with he help of my friends and loved ones.
I have taken time over the last couple of weeks to think about my mums reasons for not wanting to give me her blessing and for not approving of my choice of a lifetime partner and I really cant seem to understand what the big problem is.......She objects to my relationship for the following reasons:
  1. Because Mr is Nigerian and I am Ghanaian (asking what I will do if Mr. decides to run away with my Children to settle in Nigeria if things do not work out...yeah right and I am just a mum abi)

  2. Because He is Muslim and I am Christian (I dont know why she keeps going on about this..It was one of my major concerns when Mr and I decided to get really serious about our relationship, he and his family do not expect me to convert and are welcome me as a christian as they have already have a few mixed religious marriages in their family. Mr is aware of the fact that our children need to be raised as Catholic until they are old enough to decided on what they want to be , as this is one of the recommendations of the Catholic church in cases such as mine where the other partner is not of Catholic faith)

  3. Because his family are of mixed faith both Christians and Muslims (She just doesn't see how they are able to live in peace and sees it as some kind of taboo)

  4. she wants me to be independent.. have my own house, car ........before getting married(regardless of the fact that my body clock is ticking )What happened to including your life partner in your future plans in order to work towards your future together. My mum just things that I intend to become a useless housewife when i get married. Its like she has no faith in me and just thinks the worst of me...what the hell does she think I payed my own way through 3 yrs of University for?

  5. she believes that MR is only putting on an act and that he will stop loving me once we start having his kids (yeah right.. using me for 7yrs.. he must have all the time in the world....some other guy would have run a mile after realising how cruel and horrible my mum is)

  6. that he will definitely want to have 2 more wives because of his religion
And the list goes on and on.............I know my mum is just concerned about my future and wants whats best for me but she definately isnt going about it the right way ......the scary thing is that my mum gave similar excuses years ago when my older sister use to bring guys home...15yrs later, my sister is now 37 yrs old, lives miles away from London -just to be away from my mum and my evil ass kissing brother, suffers from very low self esteem and is constantly depressed due to the way her life has turned out, just because she failed to stand up to my mum when she should have ...and did i mention my sister is still not married!! I really feel for my sister and continue to do all that i can to help her but the harm has already been done. I do not wish to end up like my sister ...God forbid!!
On a more positive note, Mr and I have picked the date for our wedding, which will definately be in December this year......venue has been provisionally booked and all..but i am taking a break from all the weding planning for now.. just until i have handed in my dissertation (end of April) then it will be full steam ahead...!!
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.~ 1 Peter 5:7