Ok I must confess ......Yours truly is feeling a bit depressed again.....and I bet you all know why. One word: MUM, shes at it again or should i say shes getting to me again. (Fot those of you who do not know what the hell Ima on about feel free to catch up Ikomo Prt 2 /Breaking the News , BREAKING THE NEWS - Update , Letting it all out !! , Goingz onssssss........ , etc
I know I decided at the beginning of this year that I was going to move on with my life and follow my heart. I have kept to that but it hasn't been easy. I have done a bit of back sliding in the last few weeks but what can I say.. I'M ONLY HUMAN.
I know a lot of people have advised me on this situation and continue to support me in all I do but mhen.. its not easy.
So I managed to get Mr's family to come and see my mum (only letting her know at that last minute, as she would have left the house or just been difficult if she I had given her enough notice of their visit.. you see my mum is stubborn like that). So Mr's relatives who are very aware of my mums feelings came to see her just to try and persuade and inform her of their good intentions and blah blah blah.....Lets just say that my mum sat and listened to them oooh but she didnt really budge....all she said was that there wasn't much she could say at that point as she was not really aware of their visit and that all she could say was that THEY ARE WELCOME!! and that was all my mum said........if you welcome people into your home do you not at lest try and strike some kind of conversation with them? noooo my mum just sat there giving one liners when our guests tried to strike conversation with her. Omo I was so ashamed.....my only consolation was that these guests were aware of my mums behaviour and attitude but i know they never expected her to be that cold.So the visit yielded nothing except for the fact that my mum could no longer say that she had never been approached by Mr's family to ask for my hand in marriage.
I know you might be wondering why I am putting myself through all this tress by trying to get my mum,s consent. Its just that I want to give her a chance to be part of my future but I get the message loud and clear now that she is not interested and is even prepared to embarrass herself and myself in front of my soon to be in laws.
I know people have said to be strong and that my mum will come around in the end but that is rubbish. Why is she putting me through all this . Does she think I have invested 7 yrs of my life into this relationship as a joke .. just for her to come and mess things up for me. God forbid ooh.Is she acting this way because she really wants whats best for me or is she just being over protective...sometimes I think she is just jealous but why would she be.....!!
I guess I have to agree with my priest and accept that fat that my mum has the right not to like the man that I intend to spend the rest of my life with but i need to let go of all the sentimental feelings that I keep attaching to my mums behaviour and Let go in order to start living a realistic life.
Then the thought crosses my mind of what might happen in the future ... that my in laws and some heartless people might use my mums objection to my marriage as a reason to disrespect me.....I know what our people can be like... but I know my man will never let that happen as he has always been there for me and does not allow anyone to disrespect me in anyway.
I guess i have no control over the future but all i can do is to take actions now that will make my future with Mr a blessed, loving and never ending one.
I am rethinking my plans for the wedding as it might end up being a Private Church ceremony followed by a reception for about 100 guests.
I know my mum older brother is still bent on getting my mum to come around...Bless his heart. But we shall see. The battle still continues..................................
Naapali dont worry I will let go of wanting my momsi to accept my man ooh ...but Its just not easy....I pray that God Almighty gives my the strength and a clear mind to make the right decisions and to move on with my life!! Amen!!