I HATE HIM!!
He use to come to my room late at night while everyone was asleep
I always begged him not to
I always begged him not to
Because I just did not like what he was doing
It just felt sooo wrong
I was so scared of metioning it to anyone
I that they might not believe me or
That they might get upset with me
EVEN AS A CHILD i knew what he was doing was wrong
But how was i to tell my parents or anyone else
What do i say
I was only 8......
I HATE HIM!!
I HATE HIM!!
Lord i look back at those days and ask myself
Why didnt i fight him
Why did i allow him to do those things to me
I have had to deal with the effects of his actions for all these years
It affected me in some ways
It was sucha horrible experience.....
Now when i think back to those times,
I cant even remember the episodes too well
My friend says that it is my way of trying to forget everything that happened
I know that he feels guilty and is Sorrry
Because he apologised to me a few years ago and is now a born again Christian
But am I just supposed to forgive him....
I very hard not to let it affect me ..
But it springs up in my mind every ow and then
I Hate myslef more and more for letting him do this to me...
I HATE HIM SOOO MUCH!!
18 comments:
do not know if this was your experience but I know this is true for many.
I wish you the strength and grace to continue to live your life on your own terms and not as a victim. One of the many dangers of abuse is it poisons other relationships. I hope this person has accepted their wrongdoing and is working specifically on that to avoid doing same again.
I wish you well.
Is this fiction or are u really serious?
yeah, is it fiction?
Nice write-up. Even if it isn't fiction....i hope y'all realize this is happening to a lot of young kids out there today....we need to speak up o....and we need to encourage/educate these kids to speak up too!
this is easier said than done, but i assure you, the day you forgive him, will be the day you'll be free from the residue of the things he did to you. To be free, you must forgive. And you're not doing it for him, you're doing it for you, so you can move on.
Sorry it happened to you.
I pray that got gives you the courage, wisdom and strength to forgive him.
@ Manda, Teediva: This really happened to me when i was 8. It went on for almost 2yrs...and it is something that I am comming to terms with.
It was a terrible experience....
I realised form talking to a group of friends the other day, that so many people (especially females) have suffered the same experience in thier childhood but find it very difficult to talk about it.
THIS IS MY WAY OF LETTING IT GO!
Wow! Sharing this must have been difficult. I admire ur courage.
I can only imagine how u feel. Its not easy, but the key is forgiveness.
Please don't hate or blame urself for it. Always remember u're a special, beautiful & strong woman.
Take care hun.
I know how you feel@arewa
That's speaking from experience. Many young nigerian girls have gone through this and they've felt the same way you felt. I know the damage it can have on a woman psychologically and sexually.. Trust me, i've been there.
You'll have to let go. You cannot take back what he did to you. I had to let go. I was abused as a child too...not by one person but I let go. Opening up helps ease the pain..talk to moi if u need help....
wOW!!! this is sad. Sorry if dis happened to u but u must try to forgive. It is difficult and it may be difficult to bliv he is worth d forgiveness. Once u do let urself forgive den the healing will start.
Oh dear, it really happened? Damn and damn again. Smoen men can be HE_GOATS. wtf!!! I mean how can you seriously ravage a kid and enjoy it...ridiculous
The guy should be castrated whether he has turned over a true leaf or not :)
lol@ Ugo...
But on a much more serious note.
It hasnt been easy at all.
I have been able to move on with my life thanks to support from friends and loved ones and not forgetting my wonderful blogville family.
I was suprisee by the number of people who have openly addmitted that they also experience this sort of abuse in thier childhood. Its just such a terrible thing .....
ANYWAY Thanks for all the support...... I luv all yall x x x x
oh!my friggin gosh,
Arewa, though very painful, this was beautiful. Reading your words,I could feel everything.
This has truly inspired me, you don't know how much ppl dis has happened to and you talking/blogging about it shows it's ok, your not evil, or dirty or a slut if this has happened to you.
Love ya girl
if it's real then i'm really sorry it ever happened. So many kids go through stuff like that, i remember my cuz locking me in a room with a neighbourhood dude when i was like 9 or 10, i had to fight with everything in sight...it's hard to say forgive but WWJD? It's well
It's weird, but I seem to understand you a bit more now. My mother went through this, but her father was the abuser. It caused her to be intimately distant when it came to my father. They eventually worked it out with the help of God. I know it's a process, healing that it, but you will be and already are well. Love you babes. ;-)
the guy na bastard
Blogging about it now shows you came out a victor dear!
Am proud of you.
sorry you had that terrible experience. molesters should be castrated. ugh!
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