Guess who is back in full swing.........me, maself and I ....the flu finally got the message and buggered off. Still feel a bit funky now and then but my GP claims that i should be ok by next week....Thank God for that cause there was no way i was going to be taking anymore agbo jedijedi and all those pescribed tablets.Trust me it was soo bad that MR started to call me a Druggie.....the bloody cheek.
Thanks for all the get well wishes and to those of u who didnt bother wishing me well ... lets just say ....WE SHALL SEE..(U know who u r..lol)
Ok so now i need your help people...... just a few ideas because i just cant seem to get my head around this whole issue:
One of my very good friends from back in the day called me just the other day to see how i was doing as we hadnt spoken in a quiet a while as we had both been really busy(lets call her Esi).....so I strated on the usual note asking about her family, her studies, work and then finally her man....she was answering as i threw the questions at her but i sensed a bit of hesitation when i asked about her man....all she said was ahh he is there compaired to the usual oh he is fine ooh ..i even just got of the phone with him blah blah blah...
So i started probing and probing.....next thing my friend just broke down in tears....saying how she was fed up and didnt know if she can deal with all of this anymore....Esi and her man have been togather for 8yrs and there has always been a bit of insecurity on her mans side.. he gets very paranoid when Esi fails to pick up his calls, he gets very jealous when she mentions her male friends or male aquientance even her Doctor.....as he had accused her of having something to do with him a while ago just because she felt very unwell a while ago and had to keep going in for regular check ups.
Heres a typical example....... Esi left her phone in a taxi last week and luckily had the phone returned to her local station a few hours later......there were about 10 missed calls on her phone 8 of which were from him....The phone rings a few minutes later the phone rings and Esi picks up:
Boyfriend: So ur picking up my call now?! i take it that u have finished doing whatever it wa u were doing with him
Esi: What r u on about.....i left my phone in a taxi and had it retured not even up to 10mins ago
Boyfriend: U mean u have finished with the man that uwerwe with sooo u can pick up now ..isny it?!
Esi: I dont know aht u r talking about.. did u not hear what i just told u
Boyfriend: U keep on doing whatever t is ur doing..we shall seee(then he hungs up)
Now in the begining when Esi use to complain to me about her mans behaviour.. I use to tell her that He would change after a while as he just needed some reassurance from her and we put it down to the fact thathe might have been really hurt in the past.....and also due to that fact that Esi is a very attractive young woman who turns heads whereever she goes......
But how do u begin understand this when it has gone on for soo long. What does it take to earn the trust f a man like this?.. I honestly dont know how Esi managed to put up with this for soo long .....I guess deep down she has always had some hope that things will change and that she would earn his trust somehow.....she has never cheated on him and has always been very true to him so where is all this comming from? And what happens now as he has started saying things like 'maybe u two should not be together anymore' and saying things like 'I LOVE U BUT I CANT TRUST U'?
What do i say to encourage her to keep holding on...or do i just tell her to up and go ? How long will u put up with a guy or a girl like this?Where does one start from when u break up from an 8yr relationship?
I honestly dont know how thier relationship has managed to thrive for 8yrs in this condition as I have always believed that TRUST is one of the most important elements that steers a relation in the right way....