Im hereee ooooh . Heres your update SOLOMONSYDELLE. Sha we are cool now..haaba..lol
How is everyone one doing.....?! Oh and Zena just in acse ur wondering my meme soon come.....
How is everyone one doing.....?! Oh and Zena just in acse ur wondering my meme soon come.....
God has been good to us and has blessed us with another week which is almost comming to an end.....May He continue to have mercy on us and grant us peace in all that we do and May He continue to give us the strenth and courage to dea with the challenges that we face in our daily dealings.....Amen!!
Thanx for all the comments to my last blog... Esi's relationship is just a mystery to me .. I just cant understand why things just dont seem to be working out for them but maybe they just arent meant to be.
Esi and her man had a talk the other day and as usual nothing useful came out of it soo....my girl claims that her relationship is coming to an end.. i know she still loves him and is finding it hard to let go but ........i think she will do so in her own time. I just feel for her as she is soo depressed. Why do some relationships have to be soo full of drama....
Anyway moving on ......so i have had a bit of an emotional week and have to get it all of my chest so here goes:
Dreams become a road Though we cannot see, But yet from a path That shapes reality. Then the unmanifest is etched by pure design. The dreams are bought to life When faith and effort combine. For these are needed tools To carve a pathway through, The tunnel of success Which lies deep inside you. Though you see no path, Proceed with faith as eyes, For only by stepping out, Will the road before you rise.
.......i have beeen looking at my life in a very different light since breaking the news to my mum and it feels a bit weird. For once its all about me and no one else... i am training myself say NO! and to put myself first as no one (family) is prepared to do that for me and continue to be selfish in every way.
Reality hit me when i was down with the flu.....You see the thing is that I have 2 siblings ..an older sister then brother and i am the last. My sister suffers from sickle cell which means that she cant really do much and always needs to take things easy......My brother on the other hand is a mummy's boy, who continues to kiss my mums ass at his age (34) he does this and sides up with my mum even when she is wrong.....this his way of draw attention away from the things that he gets up to(dating all sorts of girls..and getting up to no good) he also has traits of Sickling but not as bad a s my sisters.
Ok so back to what i was saying.... I decided to go and see my GP on monday and fancied some light soup- Ghanaian version of pepper soup. Will u believe that i had to get on the busy after my appointment to go to the shops just to get meat fish and a few things to make myself soup....I ended up not being able to even eat the soup after making it as i had lost my appetite.
The reason why i felt so sorry for myself was that ........no one in my family mother, brother or sister even considered making soup for me. the point i am trying t make is that i felt like i was invincible to my family ....no one bothered to ask ..ah what do you really Fancy oooh?!
And yet when my mother needs something ..i will be the first person that she calls, when my siblings are in hospital, i am always the one who runs around doing hospital runs alongside work and my studies and yet when it come to me no one seem to be bothered. Dont get me wrong my mum called me on 2 occasions to see how i was doing but all of that was just ceremony... there was no feeling of care or sympathy from her.......my sister called on a few occasions my brother just asked me as few times if i wanted to try other forms of medication......all in tones that did not really show any care what so ever.
As a child, i always imagined that i will be spoilt and pampered as the last baby of the family but its been the opposite for me.....i have been maltreated and taken for granted by the people that are supposed to be my family.
As a child, i always imagined that i will be spoilt and pampered as the last baby of the family but its been the opposite for me.....i have been maltreated and taken for granted by the people that are supposed to be my family.
When people talk to me and tell me about how important family is......what i ask them is a family is only important when they lend you support, show you love and make you feel like you belong. What good is a family that shows no love and only seems to want your downfall.
GOD FORBID OOH NOT ANYMORE......!!
I know that the bible says to forgive people who offend you......but how do you forgive people who offend you to the point of trying to take away your identity and wish you no good. specially when they continue to disrespect and maltreat you constantly.
I am only human and as hard as i try , theses things still get to me and all i do is pray for God to forgive them and ask him to for the strength to forgive them and move on with my life.......BUT HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO GO ON LIVING LIKE THIS .........?? HOW MUCH LONGER......THIS CANT BE RIGHT NOW......!!
I STARTED OFF WRITING THIS BLOG THINKING IT WAS JUST GOING TO BE A SHORT UPDATE .....AND I HAVE JUST REALISED HOW MUCH I HAVE BEEN GOING ON......I GUESS I JUST NEEDED TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST.
Theres soo much hurt in my heart that has been caused by my family but I am working on it and Iam letting it all go. I am trying to cleanse my heart and soul of all the hurt and pain that they have caused me over the last 10years.
I will give u a bit more insight as that moths go by ... but this part of my cleansing process.....with GOD LEADING THE WAY AND WITH HIS RAY OF LIGHT SHOWING ME THE WAY..... I KNOW I WILL MAKE IT........!!
Lord help me ... YOU ARE ALL I HAVE......MY STRENGTH AND MY SALVATION.......COME TO MY RESCUE!!!
17 comments:
dang, that's such a tough situation... when your family doesn't have your back.
hopefully things will get better soon. have you tried talking to them about how you feel?
It is extremely difficult when those we expect to count on their unconditional love are the source of our pain.
I wish you the strength and hope to work through this. I also hope you find a way to communicate how you feel to them without fear or guilt. Do not expect things will change but at least they will know how you feel.
Be Well!
its funny because we are taught that family is there for you no matter what and always has your back...but family can sometimes be your worst enemy, the very thing trying to lead to your demise, whether knowingly or unknowingly...i've been both 'victim' and 'perpetrator'...lucky for you, you are able to be true to you, in spite of it all...they will eventually come around...it takes too much energy to hold all that negativity...sending positivity and strength your way queen...
...on another note, i could sooooo go for some peanut soup right now!!! (i know you were talking about light soup but it made think of ghanaian cuisine and here we are)...dang...why'd you do that to me?...i for damn sure can't make it either...*grabs phonebook to look for a ghanaian restaurant*...
Aww hunie, guess you could use some hugs so sending some..can you feel them? Guess it's best to deal with the issues gradually as you're doing. God will see you through..much love
When I was reading, I started crying...Arewa, I feel you on so many levels, it's not funny. Don't know what to say....
I am just chatting with mum and we were trying to cheer each other up as we navigate as a family through some trying times.
My mother feels the way that you do in her family. She is not considered important or much use to her mother because she does not have the unlimited expense account to buy her mother's respect and love like her siblings. She feels unwanted and unloved.
But girl, you are. God loves you and even though they don't say it, there are those few, (usually a handful) who love you
I sure appreciate that you are on blogville and I am so sorry that you feel poorly. Only for a little while dear, only for a little while
Awww... *Hugs*
Firstly, God loves u sweetie. Let it all out to Him. U'll feel better.
We all know family's important but it must really hurt when u feel like u're not getting enough love & support from them.
Pls don't give up on ur family even though u feel unappreciated. Y'all are family. I'm sure they care about u.
You'll be fine. We're always here for u.
urs is a classic case,
this is very common when there are sick or sickly children in the family, the healthy child often gets neglected and is deprived of the needed love and attention as the parents take care of the needy ones.
ur siblings and ur mom do love but they may not be capable of showing it as a result of their self centredness(which is common with the sickly and their caregiver)
u should know that u are trully blessed and loved.
u have a lot 2b thankful for, count them one by one...
if u haven't been paying attention u should start now, u'll notice how God has been meeting ur emotional needs. often thru total strangers.. a kind word, a helping hand at the most critical time, a smile from a stranger in a crowded bus or train, a blog to pour out ur pain, a loving word from a blogsibling..(on and on)
as u can see, u are loved and the one who matters the most got ur back..
consider urself hugged.
Hmmm, all said; 'm rather tempted to look at it from another aspect. You did say your siblings are rather sickly one more than the other though.
Also, "yet when my mother needs something ..i will be the first person that she calls, when my siblings are in hospital, i am always the one who runs..." this is so profound. But, have you tried imagining a situation where both your siblings & mum see you as the shoulder to lean on, 'cos you are willing and always available? It might have been an unconscious act (& not to spite you) that you might seem to have been taken for granted.
Darling, as i read this post i just felt like i was the one writing.
Some times in the past i have felt like just packing my stuff and leaving but i guess some things we just have to tackle.
I advise you call ur mum and siblings together and let them know how you truly feel about their attitude to you. It will help let out the bitterness/hurt you feel inside and you may yet discover they really dont mean any harm and hopefully things will get better.
All the best.
I tagged you on my blog.
ps: About your friend Esi, she should just let go. God will send someone better for her. Distrust is so unhealthy in a relationship and may lead to violence later in marriage.
Happy weekend.
Family'll always be family, no matter what :) Wonder what'll happen when you get married, though?
I understand how you feel but i guess things happen for a reason. You have the good health for a reason. Try and be strong no matter what. It ain't easy but then, who said it will be... And just like Ugo said,'family will always be ...'
See it as an oppurtunity to be a part of there lives and not a responsibility.
Have you ever thot of the fact that your sound health may be one of God's way of saying 'Thank you'?
See the glass as full...
People can be insensitive...that shouldn't stop you from loving them and it shouldn't change you.
I've lost friends in the SS battles and i know how it feels.
I don't pray you experience such.
Be grateful my friend and trust God to settle you, stabilise and establish you at the right time.
You'll be fine...ok?
...remember, things can only get better.
Hey u!!! i cn only imagine how u must feel when the people who are supposed to be there for u when everybody else isnt aren't really pulling their weight..but maybe u shud let them know how u feel...talk to them..pour it out sweets...hopefully after that things will change.
I can imagine its though... but hey, u sound like a Prayer to me...
damn, i cn only imagine how u feel. It sucks tho but dnt give up on ur family. Keep being there for them regardless, hopefully one day dy'll come round. The Good Lord will give u enough strength and be there for u all d way. Have a blessed wk..
arewa, u've bn tagged, ive thanks
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