Ok I must confess ......Yours truly is feeling a bit depressed again.....and I bet you all know why. One word: MUM, shes at it again or should i say shes getting to me again. (Fot those of you who do not know what the hell Ima on about feel free to catch up Ikomo Prt 2 /Breaking the News , BREAKING THE NEWS - Update , Letting it all out !! , Goingz onssssss........ , etc
I know I decided at the beginning of this year that I was going to move on with my life and follow my heart. I have kept to that but it hasn't been easy. I have done a bit of back sliding in the last few weeks but what can I say.. I'M ONLY HUMAN.
I know a lot of people have advised me on this situation and continue to support me in all I do but mhen.. its not easy.
So I managed to get Mr's family to come and see my mum (only letting her know at that last minute, as she would have left the house or just been difficult if she I had given her enough notice of their visit.. you see my mum is stubborn like that). So Mr's relatives who are very aware of my mums feelings came to see her just to try and persuade and inform her of their good intentions and blah blah blah.....Lets just say that my mum sat and listened to them oooh but she didnt really budge....all she said was that there wasn't much she could say at that point as she was not really aware of their visit and that all she could say was that THEY ARE WELCOME!! and that was all my mum said........if you welcome people into your home do you not at lest try and strike some kind of conversation with them? noooo my mum just sat there giving one liners when our guests tried to strike conversation with her. Omo I was so ashamed.....my only consolation was that these guests were aware of my mums behaviour and attitude but i know they never expected her to be that cold.So the visit yielded nothing except for the fact that my mum could no longer say that she had never been approached by Mr's family to ask for my hand in marriage.
I know you might be wondering why I am putting myself through all this tress by trying to get my mum,s consent. Its just that I want to give her a chance to be part of my future but I get the message loud and clear now that she is not interested and is even prepared to embarrass herself and myself in front of my soon to be in laws.
I know people have said to be strong and that my mum will come around in the end but that is rubbish. Why is she putting me through all this . Does she think I have invested 7 yrs of my life into this relationship as a joke .. just for her to come and mess things up for me. God forbid ooh.Is she acting this way because she really wants whats best for me or is she just being over protective...sometimes I think she is just jealous but why would she be.....!!
I guess I have to agree with my priest and accept that fat that my mum has the right not to like the man that I intend to spend the rest of my life with but i need to let go of all the sentimental feelings that I keep attaching to my mums behaviour and Let go in order to start living a realistic life.
Then the thought crosses my mind of what might happen in the future ... that my in laws and some heartless people might use my mums objection to my marriage as a reason to disrespect me.....I know what our people can be like... but I know my man will never let that happen as he has always been there for me and does not allow anyone to disrespect me in anyway.
I guess i have no control over the future but all i can do is to take actions now that will make my future with Mr a blessed, loving and never ending one.
I am rethinking my plans for the wedding as it might end up being a Private Church ceremony followed by a reception for about 100 guests.
I know my mum older brother is still bent on getting my mum to come around...Bless his heart. But we shall see. The battle still continues..................................
Naapali dont worry I will let go of wanting my momsi to accept my man ooh ...but Its just not easy....I pray that God Almighty gives my the strength and a clear mind to make the right decisions and to move on with my life!! Amen!!
17 comments:
OMG, sista gurlie. I dunno what to say, its hard tryna choose btwn sum1 u love and ur mom, and its so hard when ur mum doesnt realise how much u want her to be a part of ur hapiness. I pray the good Lord will guide n direct u. Hopefully one day momsie will come thru, cuz if yall bn kicking it for 7 good years, and ure still together, surely she should know that this is frealz and yall are taking it to the next nevel.
I wish u the very best, cuz u definitely deserve it.
it is well... may the good Lord be with you, your man, and your future plans... *wink*
Ma sista from another mother...i think it's time to just look into the future and stop looking back, it's not easy i know and it's sad when your own mother can't support you in the move to the next level
But hey...move on...no looking back..much love!
Hey there!
This ur momsie palava is serious o.
ok, lemme ask, why exactly doesnt she like him? did sumthing happen
maybe, just maybe she has a valid reason.
personally, if my mum is so hell-bent about my future husband, i dont think am brave enuff to marry the guy. but that's just me!
Awwww babe, I sense ur confusion..its only normal that u would be upset and depressed by the situation...God is in control and will lead ur steps...love ya...
amen...as you've stated, tis very difficult and so much easier said than done...
...although my issue with my mom is slightly different, its that same stubbornness and 'my way or no way' attitude that it seems your mom also shares...this year is my year...i refuse anyone to take my light...
...same to you love...you have found a man you love and who loves you...may you continue to be blessed...continue to do as you would...don't let your mumsie make you act in a way that is not in accordance with who you are...
...i met a boy [my cousin-1 year old] that my aunt adopted in naija...his story has kept me going at weak points this year...essentially, when everyone had written him off as dead and even done what they could to see to his death, he is alive and thriving today...we would always tell/call him: shine shine boi-boi [sp?]...and shine he does...
...just continue to ask for and exercise strength, courage and faith...and shine shine lady...shine your goodness on the world...your ability to see past trivial divisions...to love truly and sincerely...to be loved so deeply and fully...push through and shine through mumsie's clouds, shine your love...
...sending hugs, kisses, love, light and lots of positive and uplifting energy...
well part of adulthood is making adult and mature decisions.....like this. you have to talk to the Lord. ask him to show you a sign if He doesnt want you to ahead with the union. your mum opinion matters but face it if you were an orphan, you no go marry. think it well, listen to her words, your heart, your head and most importantly your God. cos if u break up and marry a loser you will be hating 3 people. the guy, your mum and YOU.
i have always believe there is nothing prayer cannot do..
Just pray for God to take control of the situation and he should give you PEACE that passeth all understanding...
if you have peace about it.. Nothing your mom does will bother you...
But i believe she will come around.. usually when the kids are born
so much drama! Na wah o......Just keep trying and I believe you'll break through....I understand your sentiments regarding your soon to be in-laws, truly it is always better when your home front has no issues...it will be a good thing for your Mr. to protect you though...my prayers are with you....keep at it and God will prevail!
There's not much I can say that will help you feel better, nor are my words able to change your situa, but I do pray that all is well and that you take comfort, counsel, and sweet sweet rest in the presence of HIM, your Prince of Peace.
Muah
Well I guess everyone's giving u advise, there isn't much I can say,Except everything will be fine.
I commend the fact that you're still trying to make her see reason, is there someone u can make talk to her? a pastor? someone that can actually make her see reason?
Hold up babes..
Me I dey your side, either which way.
It is well.
Like you said it was expected so in a way you will have to live with it.
As per the future, even if your Mum was in it hand and foot if people wanna look for excuse they will do that easily so just chill and Trust Baba God.
Na wa o...
May u be led in the right direction and preparation plans for ur wedding. It must def not be easy with ur own mother disapproving...it will be well at the end.
Has she told u the reasons why she disapproves by the way?
Stay strong...I'm realizing that weddings are one of the most difficult things to plan...it's only one day in most people's lives, and it sticks to u for the rest of ur life...
*Hugs*
Addition of some really imp things...
First, it is really "important to understand what exactly ur mum's views are on this" first before u proceed.
That's why our parents are there (Proverbs 1:8 " My son, hear the instruction of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother."/Also provs 23:25 "Let your father and your mother be glad, And let her who bore you rejoice")
BUT if what she says is holding no importance/significance in ur life, pray abt it first, like the Last King of Scotland said, and then u can proceed further and have a totally happy and joyous wedding if u're sure u're making the right decision. If God is for you, who can be against you?
There's something else the bible says that I love so much (I'm sure u will love it too)...
Isaiah 49:15 "Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, yet I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; Your walls are continually before Me."
Hope this favorite scripture of mine encourages u. In the search for this scripture, I also found the one below...
Psalm 27:10"When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take care of me."
Having typed all this, I can never understand what u're going thru, neither can I speak out of previous experience...but I can boldly tell u that if u trust God, He will be with u throughout all ur decision-making...
*Hugs*
Amen to that prayer.
We are with you girl…all the way!
Let go and let God…it shall be well.
...uhmm
Post a Comment